Well, first I've got some news. I've started a very poorly designed, and kind of sophomoric, blog at www.fanboyloathing.blogspot.com. So, if you enjoy the Lost stuff at...you should click over on it...so I can get a ten dollar check from Google for ad revenue...seriously. But, anyway, it's the exact same stuff and I've moved all of the arrested adolescent fanboy pontificating shit over there instead of posting it here. And now: Some Like It Hoth.
Firstly, they finally said it. That yes, Marvin Candle is Miles' father. It was pretty obvious from the season premiere: as I've been mentioning it in every post for the season. So, yeah.
Hurley and Miles: It's a good dynamic, but at the same time it's another case of Hurley's innate boyish innocence winning over a verbally abusive and jaded individual on the island (I'm not going to insult your intelligence by naming names), and in turn leading said jaded individual to make positive steps to being a better human being. But, at the same time, it also still works. It's entertaining television. And you don't want to change what works...or what the fans want.
The Empire Strikes Back: It was a funny bit. Nothing more to say about it except it related back to the story...which is pretty much what Lost is all about. (Big week for ellipses.)
The Kate/ Roger Workman angle - How is it that Kate even manages to fuck up when she is saving someone's life? I mean if Young Ben was smitten with Kate and that inadvertently led to his demise I'd just think that was Kate being Kate. However, this season has pretty much been a ot of Kate dropping the ball, in my opinion. I guess my real question is: How did she get so dumb in between season? Think about it. Sawyer pretty much gives them one demand: don't fuck up the deal with the Dharma. And pretty much every action of hers, while well intentioned, has been about fucking up the deal with the Dharma. Just saying.
What Stands In the Shadow of The Statue?: They're the remnants of the Dharma Initiative. Last week I said Widmore, but they're obviously not working with him...as you saw the episode. Someone was sending those food drops in Season 2...which don't make a lot of sense in retrospect. So, yeah, Dharma. It makes sense.
Farraday: Well, he was somewhere alright. Granted, I thought he went off with the hostiles or died so I was pretty wrong about it. Can't win them all. I am very curious, given Farraday's field of expertise, experience w/ the time travel and all just what he has been working on for the past three years. I don't know. I'm not really a 100% on what's going to happen with him so I'm going to give it an episode before I propose anything.
The rest of the season: Looks like they're going with the random shootout, nobodies safe arc that they went with at the end of Season 4. Works for me. It's kind of cool when the show goes a little '24' with the gunplay and the torture in the season finales. If anything I'm really just curious to see how everything is going to work out and how all of the disparate threads are brought back together.
What will probably happen: Juliet is going to die because of the V pilot. And it brings back the Jack/Kate/Sawyer triangle that has delighted and bothered viewers for years. Sayid is probably going to die. He shot a child, he's on his own during some sort of war attrition that's about to go down on the island...I don't know I think he's probably the second most likely cast member to get it. After Juliet. John Locke is finally going to take over...If he can ever find his people. You'd think the Others would be all over the plane landing on the Hydra island. Eh, who knows at this point. The Egyptian connection will finally be fleshed out...I'd hope. Jacob will show up...I mean at this point they've got to bring him out he's been kind of built up a lot over the years so...it's probably going to be a little disappointing if he's some dude, but we'll see. That's about it. Peace.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
How 2 Win at Left 4 Dead
In my time of tenuous employment I have taken a fancy to Valve's Left 4 Dead. While it may not be a graphical powerhouse there is a certain magic to the the multiplayer in my opinion. I am seldom called the N word while in a lobby, and I am seldom called the F word mid match. Which is refreshing given my long career ruining afternoons in the Halo franchise. My only problem with Left 4 Dead is simply this: one competent player can never eclipse three shitty team members. With that in mind I have decided to write a brief FAQ on how you can, frankly, not eat a dick, metaphorically, at the game. Seriously, this is how you can not suck at the game...if you're willing to admit that you suck at it. Which is okay. I know I sucked, some, when I started.
Survivors
1) And this is easily most important thing: use your fucking headset. It's there for a reason. It seriously enhances the experience. Far moreso in the typical FPS becuse the point of the game is surival and not kills.
2) Leave the goddamn saferoom. The faster you get out the less time the infected have to prepare. Also, the whole irritate the other team by just staying in the safe room ploy really just irritates everyone involved. Lose gracefully and use the time that you would spend bitching out to play another game, hopefully more successfully.
3) Run fast, but not so fast that you lose your team. Yes, you can die in that safe room by yourself if someone has the sense to wait in there for you. And more survivors always beats more distance run. It should be a no-brainer really, but you'd be aghast at the number of times I see this happen. Either someone is too far behind to get saved or vice versa, with being too far ahead. And the game isn't called Left 3 Dead, now is it?
4) Don't lollygag. You're going to give the enemy too much time to spawn, and you're just going to irritate the hell out of me, frankly. Yes, searching for items is helpful. But those items are usually in a fairly set number of locations. Memorize those locations. And besides, you can't use those pain pills if you're downed.
5) The best way to survive the horde: corners and melee. If you're getting overwhelemd back into a corner and melee for your life. It actually is that simple. It also works on hunters...the melee I mean, and it demoralizes the infected player too. But, in seriousness, melee will work ninety percent of the time.
6) Also, remember those hiding spots for the Tank (behind the elevator, up on that debris in the hospital, anywhere with a chaingun...), and set him on fire before you do anything else, it will make everything easier. And for the love of god: don't go by the gas pumps. I have seen so many games fall apart from people either A) taking on the Tank in a small space or B) running by those fucking gas pumps. They explode, you die, I live and get annoyed for the thirty seconds before I get jumped and die as well. Follow those basics, learn your routes, learn the shortcuts (which I really don't feel like listing...just if you notice someone doesn't suck and is taking lead follow them and learn their route) and you'll be fine.
Hunters
1) Jump from heights. It does more damage, they don't see it coming and it looks cool if someone else sees it. And it's a good way to earn the respect of your teammates and peers.
2) When in doubt claw. If you're getting slapped around with the melee go for the claw. They will beat you to death if you go for the pounce. And the claw does more damage...inexplicably
3) If they are melee heavy players: land on their backs. You can either try a wall bounce or just run away and regroup. You'd think this would not need to be stated, but I've seen it happen a number of times.
4) And this goes for all classes of infected: just like with the survivors everything works better if you're all together. And secondly: always, always, always gor the stragglers. Everone should know that though.
Boomers
1) Don't forget the claw. You've got it and you can usually get in a hit or two if someone's back is turned.
2) Remember to play blocker. If someone is on top of a survivor block their teammates. The worst that will happen is that you get bile on the injured party and expidite the dying process. And you'll by your teammate a couple more hits.
3) Start with the downed. You would think that would go without saying, but it needs to be repeated. Pretty simple, right.
4) There's nothing wrong with suicide bombing if you can make it work...and if you can't you'll respawn in thirty anyway, and it's a video game.
Smokers
1) Go for ledges: stand over them. And you're harder to hit. Pull the survivors off of them and they take more damage. I could get into more detail, but really the key to smoking effectively is angles. You want to get the most hits possible and the best way to do it is to find a good angle.
2) Don't get over excited: you're not going to outrun the survivors, you don't really get that much damage on a one or two hitter. So, you're really better off laying low and waiting for your team to respawn. That's really it: be patient and pick a good line of sight and you'll be fine.
Tank
1) Most importantly see red. If you hit a survivor with a car that's an instant down. Forklifts, support beams, it's as effective as throwing a chunk of ground and way faster.
2)Seriously, focus on colors. Go for the wounded first...they're slower and one downed is going to make everything far easier.
3) Be patient. Nothing is worse then watching a Tank freak out and just chase whoever is closest and die without getting anyone downed or dead. Seriously, there is little worse then watching a Tank squander their shot without seeing results.
4)Avoid fire and go for the ledges. You take more damage when you're on fire, obviously. You hit someone off a building or ledge and they die. This is pretty simple sit, no. And if you follow all of these incredibly simple tips you'll do slightly better.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Black Lanterns Revealed...The No-Brainers.
First let's go with whom we know will be there: Earth 2 Superman, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter and I think Connor Kent (don't know if he's official yet, but come on.)
And now onto the other incredibly likely ones.
Ted Kord - It's going to happen. If there's a "Booster Gold" tie-in it's going to have, at the very least, a zombified Ted Kord in it. It makes so much sense that it hurts...in the pants. i mean you get the automatic reaction from the character of Booster Gold, and I mean come on. The guy's been dead for a couple of years and has shown up in a number of issues of the book.
Terra (#1) - Yet again it's a huge gimmie. There is a Titans mini and you're going to need more then just Connor to make it happen if there's going to be an entire mini based on the characters. I really have little more to add on it.
A Batman - As we know, Bruce Wayne kind of died this year. And there's bound to be a Batman mini going on. Although it's kind of for the best that Bruce is dead so as we don't have to deal with zombie Thomas and Martha Wayne. They'd totally do that. I mean I would. The reason that I say A Batman is that there's going to be an Earth-2 Superman involved, I think he was burried on Earth, but Earth-2 Batman is wicked dead as well...and it'd be a cute twist.
Pa Kent - It'd be a pretty big dick move, and Johns killed him. Johns is the man running Blackest. And you don't need super powers to break someone's heart.
A Flash - Barry Allen was supposed to lead them originally. Four speedsters is just too many. Bart's back...so he's out. Barry's back...and it might be too soon to kill him. Wally is fair game, but unlikely. And Jay Garrick...really? But, at the same time there are an entire littany of dead speedsters out there so we'll see.
The New Gods - Why not? They're dead. They managed to move a pretty sub par miniseries before "Final Crisis" on name recognition alone. And they'd give the big guns some formidible enemies to hit...if they can get them out of the source wall some how. Although two Super-men may be a fairly tall order to handle independently of the New Gods. It's a thought though.
Ralph and Sue - I'd hope not actually, but it would certainly get a fan reaction. I am in the camp that they'd let them stay dead. Bwa-ha-BRAINS indeed. In all honesty they seem like almost sacred cow characters and people may react negatively to see the two all zombied up.
Max Lord, Jade, Vibe, Gypsy, Osiris, Hawk and Dove, The Girl From The Fridge, Infinity Inc. (3?), Vigilante and a myriad list of characters to long to list- Jade's a pretty obvious one. Max Lord is a probable. Vibe is a definite in my book. Gypsy is a why not. Osiris...sure. I'd imagine there's going to be a fair amount of Black Adam throughout. Hawk and Dove...falls into the sure category. Fridge Girl from Green Lantern would be an interesting...she's dead, she fits into a fridge easily...it's going to happen. The rest...probably not the recent Infinity Inc. from 52 because they just don't have that much juice to be honest with you, but you never know. Look, there's a lot out there. I'm pretty positive about the ones I've listed up top so we'll see. Hopefully it's as good as Sinestro Corps. That is all
And now onto the other incredibly likely ones.
Ted Kord - It's going to happen. If there's a "Booster Gold" tie-in it's going to have, at the very least, a zombified Ted Kord in it. It makes so much sense that it hurts...in the pants. i mean you get the automatic reaction from the character of Booster Gold, and I mean come on. The guy's been dead for a couple of years and has shown up in a number of issues of the book.
Terra (#1) - Yet again it's a huge gimmie. There is a Titans mini and you're going to need more then just Connor to make it happen if there's going to be an entire mini based on the characters. I really have little more to add on it.
A Batman - As we know, Bruce Wayne kind of died this year. And there's bound to be a Batman mini going on. Although it's kind of for the best that Bruce is dead so as we don't have to deal with zombie Thomas and Martha Wayne. They'd totally do that. I mean I would. The reason that I say A Batman is that there's going to be an Earth-2 Superman involved, I think he was burried on Earth, but Earth-2 Batman is wicked dead as well...and it'd be a cute twist.
Pa Kent - It'd be a pretty big dick move, and Johns killed him. Johns is the man running Blackest. And you don't need super powers to break someone's heart.
A Flash - Barry Allen was supposed to lead them originally. Four speedsters is just too many. Bart's back...so he's out. Barry's back...and it might be too soon to kill him. Wally is fair game, but unlikely. And Jay Garrick...really? But, at the same time there are an entire littany of dead speedsters out there so we'll see.
The New Gods - Why not? They're dead. They managed to move a pretty sub par miniseries before "Final Crisis" on name recognition alone. And they'd give the big guns some formidible enemies to hit...if they can get them out of the source wall some how. Although two Super-men may be a fairly tall order to handle independently of the New Gods. It's a thought though.
Ralph and Sue - I'd hope not actually, but it would certainly get a fan reaction. I am in the camp that they'd let them stay dead. Bwa-ha-BRAINS indeed. In all honesty they seem like almost sacred cow characters and people may react negatively to see the two all zombied up.
Max Lord, Jade, Vibe, Gypsy, Osiris, Hawk and Dove, The Girl From The Fridge, Infinity Inc. (3?), Vigilante and a myriad list of characters to long to list- Jade's a pretty obvious one. Max Lord is a probable. Vibe is a definite in my book. Gypsy is a why not. Osiris...sure. I'd imagine there's going to be a fair amount of Black Adam throughout. Hawk and Dove...falls into the sure category. Fridge Girl from Green Lantern would be an interesting...she's dead, she fits into a fridge easily...it's going to happen. The rest...probably not the recent Infinity Inc. from 52 because they just don't have that much juice to be honest with you, but you never know. Look, there's a lot out there. I'm pretty positive about the ones I've listed up top so we'll see. Hopefully it's as good as Sinestro Corps. That is all
The Hardest Review I've Ever Written: Parks and Recreations.
I desperately want to like this show. I would go as far as to say that I, my friends and girlfriend all love Amy Poehler. I would giver my bone marrow. I think the guy from Human Giant, who's name I don't want to butcher, is fucking hilarious. I already miss him on "Scrubs". Rashida Jones is also quite funny, and I always liked Karen better then Pam...which I know is blasphemy. So, why am I writing a less then glowing review?
Simply enough: Entertainment Weekly. They wrote a four page article about how the show isn't incredibly similar to "The Office", and well, it is. It has the same faux-documentary format. It derives most of it's humor from awkwardness. And the main character is very similar to Michael Scott in a lot of ways. Now, I'm not going to write the show off after one episode. God knows I watched most of the season of "Kath and Kim" due to apathy and remote control loss, and this show is handily way funnier. And actually, I'd put "Parks" on the B-/ C+ bubble which is hardly a failing grade. It's just that I assumed that I would like it more. So, there you have it. It's an alright TV program, and may mature with time to be a solid member of the NBC Thursday lineup. Yet again, "Kath and Kim". That show was cloying and dated. And god knows that it will be better then American "AbFab". Which is a terrible idea.
Simply enough: Entertainment Weekly. They wrote a four page article about how the show isn't incredibly similar to "The Office", and well, it is. It has the same faux-documentary format. It derives most of it's humor from awkwardness. And the main character is very similar to Michael Scott in a lot of ways. Now, I'm not going to write the show off after one episode. God knows I watched most of the season of "Kath and Kim" due to apathy and remote control loss, and this show is handily way funnier. And actually, I'd put "Parks" on the B-/ C+ bubble which is hardly a failing grade. It's just that I assumed that I would like it more. So, there you have it. It's an alright TV program, and may mature with time to be a solid member of the NBC Thursday lineup. Yet again, "Kath and Kim". That show was cloying and dated. And god knows that it will be better then American "AbFab". Which is a terrible idea.
Here we are again: Thoughts on Lost "Dead is Dead"
 | So, here we are again. All in all I would say that the episode was a success...except for one little thing. That little thing was, yes, the special effect with Ben and the whole "Lion King" flashback inside the smoke. It was, dare I say it, a Heroes level special effect, but it served it's purpose and I can look past it. And a lot of other business went down. Firstly Ceasar bit it. I guess he wasn't working for Widmore, but what's her name obviously is, the had a freaking code...la le lu li lo. And I think we're about to, at some point, see one of them finally get shot by Juliet...eventually. And the smoke monster showed up as Alex this time. Who is a dead person on the island. And it was trying to protect the island and...Christian Shepard is the smoke monster I can't harp on this enough. And, hey, Ben did the right thing for once by not offing Penny, and getting his ass beat by Desmond. Who I guess isn't going back to the island. Can't win them all. We got to see Ben steal Alex. Which was actually kind of easy really. And we got to see that Charles Widmore looked like with hair. And that he very well may be the bad guy. Although the fact that it took them so long to realize this seems a little suspect. What also seems suspect: Ben's total lack of knowledge that James Le Fluer was Sawyer. It's probably some sltered reality time travel shit that they do in comics, but...I don't want to explain this as it is both time consuming and any conclusion I come to will be unsatisfying. And I'm also more curious to see how the writers explain it...it will be more elegant then the explination I would give...hopefully. So what have we learned this week? Precious little really. Ben didn't kill Penny, which was a fifty fifty proposition anyway. It did show that Ben has a soft spot for the kinder, which would be obvious given his own less then pleasant childhood. Ben feels guilty over Alex's death...which he sould. That maybe he didn't plan for Locke's ressurection. But he kind of said he did in 316 so... He's a hard character to read what with the lying and the quality of acting. Oh, slight side note: the hair only adds so much to making Ben look younger. And Ethan looked kind of rough for being 27. He was born in 77 and died in 2004. It's small, but I'm just saying. As for next week. Looks to be a lot of Miles working with Marvin Candle (I forget his actual name and...you know who I'm talking aobut) Could we finally see that Miles is Marvin Candle's son? I'm going to say yes. And, maybe, just maybe, we'll see Farraday again...someday. He may be one of the dead people Miles talks with. I just don't know. And the future: Well, apparently the theme for this season finale is the fork in the outlet as last year was the frozen donkey wheel. So, I guess the time travel is going to come from the 70's and someone is probably going to short out the time travel pod in the Orchid. (You know people were freaked out by the polar bear at one point. How quaint.) Although Locke may set some wheels in motion in the present as well. I assume that he's going to have to do something with that wheel. Or at this point I don't even know really. It just poils down to that. They could discover just about anything on the island that would meet the purpose of time travel thus and such. So, yep that's about it. Good episode all told. They seem to be hitting the late season stride that happens just about every year. On a Matthew Fox side note: I saw Speed Racer the other day on Cinemax. I, honestly, don't understand why it was universally panned for one major reason: It's a movie based on the Speed Racer TV show. Have you ever watched a full episode of Speed Racer? It isn't exactly King Lear. It's actually kind of silly and nonsensical. And the movie was intentionally silly in the same vein so I thought it worked. That's about it really. And granted, they could have gone after the traditional Speed Racer viewers of old, but unless the movie came with free weed I think a lot of the older fans of the original show would wonder why they watched it in the first place. That is all. |
Fanboy loathing: The ten (maybe) most irksome things (and comic store horror stories)
#2) Just because you are calling a comic book store I, personally, do not know how much your comic book is worth. If I had a dollar for every person who called in to ask how much X book (sometimes it is an X-book) or books is worth , well, I'd probably be able to go to Morton's or buy a DSi. Go buy a copy of Overstreet. Or pay us money for appraisal. As in I will read Overstreet for you and you will pay me for the service. As well as give an accurate appraisal of the book's condition.
#3) Should have been number one to me...STOP PUTTING BARACK OBAMA ON COVERS. Mainly Wizard. Yes, people will buy anything with Obama on it. Yes, Obama is featured on two pages (he likes Spider-Man and owns a Wii). But goddamn is that a shallow ploy to increase sales on, frankly, a dying publication that is slowly being needled into obselessence. The man's the first black president...not chromium. Stop using the man like chromium. Look, if it's a comic, and it's not a blatant sales ploy (Like that Savage Dragon endorsement issue that eventually turned into a speculation juggernaut) that's fine. If the story isn't hastily thrown together shit that's fine too. If it's a calcualted sales ploy or hastily thrown together shit, well, stop. But you won't. And I'm hard pressed to think of a comic that would really benefit from an Obama crossover. Unless Obama, Rocket Racer and Night Thrasher are doling out skateboard justice. That's a freebie.
#4) How come the shit books are the ones that always come out on time, more or less? Ultimates 2: a full year in between issues. Supergirl: oh, it'll be there like fucking clockwork. Old Man Logan: slight delays. Young X-Men: I swear Mussilini was editing it because it always ran on time. Food for thought. Although plenty of shitty books take their sweet time with it too, and yes, it's all objective. And yes, one man's shitty is another man's less shitty.
#5) Do I need this many spin offs? Yes, some of them are actually pretty decent. And yes, I should have some restraint, but damn there are a lot of spin off minis these days. Remember the 90's.
#6) Stop putting Halo: Uprising #4 in the solicits. I have been doing the numbers for this issue sporadically for about a year now. It just shows up every week for a month or two and then goes back into the ether with the rest of the JMS run on Squadron Supreme (why must I suffer like this? I meant the JMS never coming out. I could really care less about the Halo) I will say though on it's behalf that they did the best they could with the "rich and original" Halo mythos. What? The games were about as generic sci-fi as they get. The fact that the book is even engaging is a triumph. Although, I think they may have missed their window...the game came out almost two years ago.
#7) Way to ruin zombies. It was cool at first. Zombie Hulk eats somebody turns back into Zombie Banner and a guy bursts out because of the size differential. Walking Dead is a solid read. Crossed is a novel approach, and they're not really zombies. But goddamn the glut of zombie books over the last couple of years is just ridiculous. Really the point I'm making is that I don't want zombies to meet the same fate as ninjas, or Chuck Norris. Just because the horse doesn't stay dead dosn't mean you should keep beating it.
#8) Stop making me describe things in Previews to you over the phone. No more need be written.
#9) You shouldn't drastically alter the status quo more then once every two years. Marvel is doing it right. Initiative ran its course and Dark Reign is going fine so far. It's actually kind of more entertaining across the board. Granted, more engaging books were created in it's wake: Dark Avengers > New Warriors. And seeing as most newly minted titles have a 5-10 month (not issue) window before the casual fan drops it (I see it happen literally every wednesday): it's a good idea to go for a bi-annual shake up seeing as the survivors may need to draw fickle fans back in.
#10) Yeah, um, how do I put this delicately...can I get some more words in my books? If I'm paying three to four bucks it should take me more then three to four minutes to read it. Sometimes a quick read is satisfying. If the book has great art or no word is wasted. Sometimes it works with the pacing. Most times it feels like you're actually reading a sixth of a story (because you are). That's all I'm saying. It's definitely not across the board, but damn. You know who you are. Peace.
Portraits in Douchebaggery: Reflections on Lost's "Whatever Happened, Happened"
Well, now we know what Jack came back to do. And that was not save kid Ben. Simply enough, that's really it. And it's pretty funny too to see that the two characters who were in the top three castaways for getting fucked over by Ben Linus were two of the three people that made him into the utterly entertaining douche bag that he is. Those two people being Sayid and Jack. Had Sayid never shot him he never would have needed to be saved. Had Jack saved him he would never have needed whatever psuedo mystical life saving soul sucking technique that the others use to stave off mortality. It's kind of funny really.
Also, I do have to admit that I am in fact loving Jack's fall from the messianic alpha male douche to the pill popping desperate douche that he has become this season.
Aside from that not a whole hell of a lot happened this week for my dollar. Hurley and Miles addressed the time continuity issues that we've all been asking since they went down this road to amusing results.
Kate showed just how bad she is at keeping secrets. And mothering. I mean it's kind of a mind fuck for a three year old for their mother to take off in the middle of the night and then some, I'm sure nice, Australian lady wakes up up telling you that she's your grandmother and that your mom will be back soon. It just seems that the right thing to do would be to simply tell Aaron what is going on...I mean he's going to know something's up.
Sayid is...somewhere. Doing something. He seems to be up shit creek really. Hope he doesn't get killed, but at this point....It's hard to shoot a child and be a sympathetic character on a TV show.
Charles and Ellie running the show for the others...Makes sense. I still wonder why Richard is always the number 2, but I'd like to think that the question will finally be answered next week, or not. Whatever.
Best moment on the show: definitely when Locke said welcome back to the land of the living at the end of the episode. Part of me wants to say that Ben was nt necessarily 100% certain that Locke would come back...given his facial expression. But given the 316 episode it did kind of seem like that Ben was well aware of the coming ressurection.
So, I think that really covers the main thrust of the episode. As for next week, Ben is going to be judged by...Christian Shepard (The Smoke Monster)...or maybe Jacob will actually show up but...at this point I think they may have built up the mysteriousness of Jacob a bit too much. I mean, if he's just some guy it's going to be a bit of a let down. Even if he's Alovar Hanso or one of the many mentioned, but never seen members of the Lost mythos it's going to be a letdown after all of this time. Even if it's a time displaced John Locke. Which is actually kind of likely. Granted I'm basing this only on my theory that A) It'd be pretty cool B) Who the fuck else could it be at this point? C) I got nothing else. There you go. Jacob is John Locke. Why not. I'm not putting a lot of faith in this, but you heard it here first...possibly.
Yep, that's about it really. Excited for next week's episode with the John Locke and the Ben Linus and Juliet shooting someone else on the other boat...maybe...probably. It'll be fun. Peace.
A day late, and probably short. comic reviews and predictions for 3/25/09
New Avengers #51 - It's cute. It's real cute. From the Coma Girl to the Wiccan/Strange moments the book bubbles up with the cute. I actually mean that as a compliment. Long story short, good character moments and a smooth transtition from arc to arc is what's in the book. And it's a good thing. I still don't care for Billy Tan's pencils, but Immomen (SP?) is coming. Look you could have a ten year old with a learning disability, or me (I'd be worse...I draw for shit), on pencils and it would still be a top seller.
Mighty Avengers #23 - The last page reveal is almost worth the price of admission. That said, this is the most Avengers-y book you will read. It's got the old school villians, wierd line-up and Jarvis that the old school fans want. I was more of an X book kid, but who wasn't, so some of the charm is slightly lost on me. That said my more recent turns towards obsessive fanning have allowed me to gain more of an appreciation. I like Dan Slott, but I'm going to give it another arc before assing judgment on it's continued reading.
Avengers the Initiative: Reptil: Nothing that wrong with the book as far as art or writing, but I could care less. It's just that simple. I have literally nothing more to say. It's servicable, but may be solely for completists. That's really it.
ASM #589 - A pretty good one and done. And those don't really pop up that much in the era of writing for trades. The art is solid. The humor works as well as it ever does. And...yeah. Perfectly good one and done. Not going to change the world, but you could do a lot worse.
Iron Fist #24 - Another damn fine one and done. Granted, I always hate when they break up the arcs like this, but I get two Iron Fists in a month so it works. Sadly, the book is done after #27 so.... I will say, yet again, the guy who writes this book (I am not goint to try and spell that name) did a damn fine job doing what looked to be the impossible and keep the quality up. Good stuff. You will be missed.
Crossed #4 - A solid twist on the zombie concept. And also, a book that would probably gross out the vast majority of people. What with all of the ass rape and cannibalism. Yep. They're kind of zombies, but way more twisted. That's it. Ennis at his Ennisiest. Says it all. Good pacing and tension as well. Just throwing that in there. It's not all about people eating and forced soddomy here.
Squadron Supreme # 9 - Yup. This book has been on kind of a down turn since the start of the reboot. I get the whole "Let's throw in the Marvel analogues" thing, but the point of the book was moreso "DC analogues dealing with slightly more realistic geo-politics." Not straight up cape and tightery. That said, I prefer the original direction and tone. And, Gary Frank is a tough act to follow. Supreme is on borrowed time with the pull list.
FF # 565 - It took me literally three minutes to read this from cover to cover. It's not dreadful. And the Cthulu-esque thing looks neat, but it's kind of a forgettable little story thrown in as a palete cleanser between arcs. Quaint looking villagers with a horrifying secret plotline with jet packs and the Thing. As far as those stories go it's a decent one because of the team, but it isn't on the same level as the rest of the run.
Messiah War 1 shot - Thus continues my love/hate relationship with X-Force. I love that they bring back obscure characters that the casual fan has to ask me about at the store (because I'm petty). At the same time, a lot of those characters are forgotten for a very good reason. I love the overall mean spiritdness of the whole Marvel line post Ellis on Thunderbolts. But, I hate the fact that certain characters are only written that way in this book. I love the interactions with Vanisher, but I still think he looks silly. Anyway, um, right. They are certainly going places with this one. Actually this whole Messiah mishegasse (SP.)/ revisionist history thing started out as a cool idea. But...Stryfe. He's been dead since I was in middle school, and with good reason. People hated him then. Apocolypse? He fought Dracula for fucksake. He was originally going to be The Owl for fucksake. He's a really vaguely defined character who hails from the school of generic 80's design. He's got a giant A on his belt in case he looses it. And that's it, really. The problem that I have with this book is on a plotting level. And that my main concern is that I don't think that the creators behind it haven't been able to seperate nostalgia and quality creations from each other. If Whiz Kid shows up with his magic wheelchair to save the day I'm done.
Guardians of the Galaxy # 12 - Still a damn fine book. I didn't have a problem with the C story that other outlets did. It's a solid read.
Captain America #48 - It is the most consistently engaging book published since it's relaunch. It's got a great continuing narrative. IT consistently has great, fitting, art. And it's got characterization to spare. If you read cape and tight books you should read this one. And it's actually gotten better with Bucky at the helm.
Thunderbolts #130 - Deadpool is the new Wolverine. Plain and simple. I just had to throw that out there. Um, it's alright. I prefer Paco Medina's art in the Deadpool monthly, but the art here is fine. Thunderbolts B is still pretty good. No, it's not as good as the Ellis/Deadoto book, but it's still a fairly entertaining read every month. The bar was pretty high going in and I think they're doing a pretty good job keeping things up there as far as quality. It's middle of the road. Fun, and still getting pulled.
X-Infernus #4 - This could have been done in 2 issues or a 5 dollar one shot. That's the problem. There just wasn't enough story here to justify four issues. Pixie and Magick want their souls back. Witchfire wants them to bring back Elder Gods. Good triumphs, but Pixie looses another piece of her soul. Magick is back, but sans soul. There you go. (I don't consider it a spoiler because of the...she's on the New Mutants cover. They spoiled it three weeks before this.)
Life and Times of ucas Bishop - Revisionist history with questionable art and a four dollar price point. It's unnecessary, and frankly, if you wanted to get into the Bishop back story they should have done it seventeen years ago when people were really interested in the whole X-traitor thing. all this book has done is make many years of past stories either not make sense or incredibly creepy (he went on a date with his grandma dude.)
Where's the DC? I read JLA 30 in the store. It was pretty good. I could care less about the Battle for the Cowl one shots. I'm sure it's a lot of staring and wondering if Gotham can survive without Batman. Which is what all of the titles post RIP have been anyway. Also, DC doesn't put out a whole lot of books these days.
Predictions - It's between Doom, Hood and Wiccan for the Sorccerer Supreme. It's probably going to be Wiccan, though, eventually. The good guys have to win one. Pretty much, if it goes Doom or Hood there's too much of a disparity between sides and relative power.
So, is Ms. Marvel 1 dead? She seems to be on covers for New Avengers for the next little bit. Although, time tables never synch properly in comics.
That's about it.
Make with the ridiculous: Lost 3/25/09 "He's Our You"
Right. That was an episode. I don't know, they went with the way more logical Sayid tries to kill kid Ben because of his poor treatment of Sayid in the future/past which leads to Ben... This has been a pretty good season for writing sentences like that. But, yup, aside from that I'm starting to wonder about the continued focus on the stuck in Dharma '78 plot line. It's an interesting idea. It's been working better then the time hops, but...where's it going? And, of course, now I'm wondering about what is going on in the present. But that happens every season. You know, so you'll keep watching on the weekly basis. And now: the episode itself.
Firstly, I would much rather be tortured by the Dharma Initiative then Sayid. I mean they just feed you LSD (or Sodium Pentathol...maybe) and ask you questions. While Sayid burns people with hot fat and cuts their fingers off. I'm just saying that if you build a guy up as a torturer and then he just doses you down and makes you listen to jazz...sounds like the best roommate you could get in college.
Shooting Kid Ben was the more logical outcome as I said last week. Part of me would like to see the other option, but it doesn't make any sense. Sort of like Sayid's total refusal of Sawyer's deal. He must really hate Ben. Probably because Ben, you know, put the hit out on Nadie last season. And the guy murdered Locke this season. Although, that did work in getting everyone back.
Kate - Is a dirty bitch. That's about it really. She had her chance with Sawyer, left the island, comes back to break up his shit. As time has progressed I find myself less and less enamored with Kate...obviously.
Radzinsky - Also a dirty bitch. I mean you wait three years to finally see the character and...he's kind of annyoing. I guess that explains why he spent so much time with his door map...you remember the all important door map? Yeah, everyone was all about the door map three seasons ago.
I don't know not a lot happened this episode outside of the Sayid back story, which was entertaining, and him sitting, being difficult, shooting a twelve year old. Hurley made a few jokes. Juliet looked pensivly at things. Jack...twiddled his thumbs. Jin got knocked the fuck out. And we see that Sawyer is willing to play every side to try and keep everyone alive.
And now the predictions and an actual spoiler for once.
Predictions - Pretty much the same. Castaways are going to be totally responsible for the purge. Christian Shepard IS THE SMOKE MONSTER. I'm pretty dead set on that one. Sayid, I guess, is going to end up with the hostiles, or die, in the next episode or two. Actually, he's probably going to die. I mean, he shot a kid...Ben. It kind of seems like Sayid's rocking the death wish. We'll see. I'm not going to go with either outcome with terribly strong convictions. That's about it. Caesar is on Widmore's payroll. The nameless castaways and Rose and Bernard are, probably all dead. Although it would be funny if Rose and Bernard were hostiles. Locke has got to find Alpert to find a way to ring them back...hopefully it does not involve the wheel, but it involves the wheel. Oh, and Juliet's probably going to die. Elizabet Mitchell is in the pilot for V. Which will probably get picked up. Hopefully the alien baby will be more convincing this time around.
And, the incomprable John on Buddy TV, has also done more excellent heavy lifting. Firstly, Sayid's last kill was at Oldham pharmaceuticals. I didn't realize this at first because I don't speak Russian. Simply enough. Also, there is the Ilana, Widmore, MacCuchent connection. And, yes she too is probably a plant like Caesar.
And now the actual spoiler. Stop reading if you don't want to have a psuedo spoil.
So, I read on, I forget the guy's name, it's close to Anselmo I think. Anyway, they're apparently shooting a wedding at the moment with a large number of Asian extras. There are two ways this could go. The silly, out-Losting Lost, aanswer is of course Aaron and Ji-Yeon's wedding. If this is to be believed then the show would take a time jump to the 2020's. If that is the case...I think I would actually be done with the show. That's almost too silly. No, it's too silly. So, it's probably Jin and Sun's wedding. Which means that everyone will, unsurprisingly, be reunited in the season finale. Or at least Jin and Sun. I mean, he's almost died in two different season finales...it's fitting that things turn around.
The smoke monster revealed . And thoughts on Namaste.
Okay, let's start with the smoke. Here's the theory: Christian Shepard is the smoke monster. Not the man mind you, but the on island manifestations. Here's why I think that. 1) The smoke monster's main goal is to defend the island. All Christian Shepard, on island...obviously, does is give people advice on defending the island. 2) Taking on the form of the deceased and engaging in conversation is within the smoke monster's power set. Because, as we all remember, when it took out Eko it shapeshifted into Yemi and talked to Eko before taking him on a permanent vacation in hell. Thusly, the smoke monster would be capabale of manifesting in human form and carrying on some level of cognitive discussion. Am I saying that the smoke monster is Jacob? No. It's more of a Silver Surfer/ Galactus thing where Smokey is the herald of Jacob. The problem: Ben had the smoke monster locked up in his basement. The saving grace though is that you never saw him put the Smoke Monster back into his cage, and Christian started manifesting after his release. What I'm saying is that Ben had no idea that the monster is a herald of Jacob. As in originally they had to go to speak directly to Jacob. So there you go. Christian = Smokey...definitely. Enjoy reading this in two weeks on thetailsection.com or darkufo. It's going to happen. Always does.
Now, onto Namaste.
So, as a situation setting episode I thought it was alright. Cool note from BuddyTV was that they landed on the runway that Kate and Sawyer were building in Season 3. So, it shows that Ben knew that their plane was going to land there as A he was on it and B Sayid probably told him. Speaking to the BenSayid dynamic I also think it's pretty cool that Sayid's enmity and attempts at the life of young Ben are probably what turns him into the lovable dick that he is. As in Sayid's poor treatment of Ben in the past leads to Ben's poor treatment of Sayid in the present. Or Sayid teaches Ben how to be a badass. Which would make sense, and be awesome.
The Picture - I did have a problem with that. Mainly because Sawyer/Locke/Hurley etc... were living in the barracks in season 4. The picture of them in '78 was in...the Barracks. Yes, it's cool when Christian pulls down the picture, but logically speaking, well. ,
The Purge - It's caused by the castaways. Has to be. But, the question now is time. More to the point: as we saw in the flash back/forward the Orchid had not been built yet. I'm imagining that the creation of the Orchid is the event that starts this whole thing purge thing off. Simply enough, Farraday et al. know that the only way they will get back to their appropriate time is through that station...or the wheel. I'm fairly certain that the only way for the castaways to get back will be to sacrifice the Dharma Initiative. And they'd be up shit creek without James LeFleur. Let's be honest now.
The Orchid - Makes me wonder about the time frame we'll be spending in the super bad 70's. i'd imagine that it's going to take some time to build a space time pod. And, as we know, Farraday is there for the discovery of the tachyons or whatever they find down there. Also, the time disparity does help my Miles is Marvin Candle's son theory because we have no idea how much time has or will pass between 78 and then. Probably not a whole lot though.
Desmond - Hopefully he'll show up soon, brother. Hopefully he's not a widower. I mean, yes, Ben is pretty bad ass. But Desmond's got training. Army training (do your best Bill Murray). And he's kind of bigger then Ben
. What probably happens is that he comes to kill her, but Desmond has one of his time hop memory things go on, and knows that he's coming. So now he must go to the island to assure that he gets the message. To himself. Or something.
Lapidus - I miss the beard. Glad he's back on the show though.
The boat issue - I'm curious to see if the boat that Sawyer/Miles/Juliet found was Sun and Frank's or a boat captained by John Locke and Ben Linus. As is to say, they killed one of the Ajirans during the time hop. The Ajirans were probably chasing Ben and Locke though. I can't see Sun and Lapidus raising anoyone's hackles to the point of attempted murder. Ben and Locke? Yes.
Enigmatic types usually inspire blind rage in people.
Ceasar & Federal Agent what'shername- Ceasar is obioulsy a Widmore plant. He knew to go to the Leviathin. He's on that plane. If he isn't then why is he getting so much face time? The Fed...probably not, but I wouldn't rule it out entirely. Would explain why they're extraditing Sayid. I mean the guy killed enough people in America to be tried there. All I'm saying is that his being on the plane was suspect.
Where's Farraday? - With Alpert. Probably talking about time flow/travel/ancient Egyptian culture. Because as I've said. Giant Horus statue+guy who doesn't age+eyeliner = eternal ancient Egyptian/Highlander. The island was probably some floating island (more Chrono Trigger than Battle Angel) that floated above Tunisia (remember the comic book that Alpert showed child Locke in Season 4...with the floating island) . Actually, it's probably Lemuria (high tech nemeses of the Atlanteans...if I remember correctly) or something to that effect. It would explain why they keep popping up in Tunisia. Damn that got off topic, but hey it's another interesting theory. (read it here 2 weeks earlier.) So, yes, Farraday probably went hostile after seeing kid Charlotte (the timetable is proper fucked on that one). Or he's on another island. Or just living in caves and writing bat symbols on the wall.
Radzinsky - Good to finally see him. He does seem like the kind of guy who would live in the Swan indefinitely. I guess, chronologically, the Swan came first. I don't know. Need more info on the timetable. Seems that the Orchid gets the time hops done and the Swan handles the excess energy that was tapped by revealing the time wheel.
Christian - Kind of wished it was Claire that showed up, but that would lead to the characters asking too many logical questions.
Rose and Bernard - Those were the skeletons in the caves. Not Jack and Kate. Or they're chilling in other-town. I don't know. They're probably dead in that cave. Rose will be missed, but she's been under used since Season 2 anyway. Better to burn out then fade away. Seeing as I've given them more thought then the characters on the show seemingly have.
Jack and Kate - Better not break up the Juliet and Sawyer pairing. They seem like a better match to be honest. Also, neither one of them is capable of actively loving another person. It's really that the two are handily my least favorite characters on the show. Especially Jack. No, especially Kate. It's that type of thing.
Aaron - Who cares? He's in Korea...I don't fucking know. How interessting is a toddler in the grand scheme of things?
Baby Ethan - Sucks to be that baby. Still, very cute moment. Personally, I'm more curious about when a young Friendly shows up. He best to. Although, Ethan looked pretty rough for 26. (He was born in '78 Seasons 1-4 all take place in '04 mainly...go math!)
The big problem - Ben knowing all of this beforehand. You'd think that he'd, at some point, slip up and call Sawyer LeFleur...or the whole thing with Juliet. I mean, yes, I am enjoying it more since the time hops stopped. Yes, I still get excited when they have the self referential moments. Yes, I'm all about the reveals. But, the plot holes still bother me. Still a Lost zealot, but they keep pushing with the ridiculous this season. Can't we just blow up Dr.Arzt again? Can it be that it was all so simple then? It kind of was. And then they gave us exactly what we, the obsessive bloggers, wanted.
That's really it. One note though, when they got to the docks I wanted Sun to say, "Oh, these are the docks where I murdered Carol (or whatever her name was)." Well they were. Peace.
Now, onto Namaste.
So, as a situation setting episode I thought it was alright. Cool note from BuddyTV was that they landed on the runway that Kate and Sawyer were building in Season 3. So, it shows that Ben knew that their plane was going to land there as A he was on it and B Sayid probably told him. Speaking to the BenSayid dynamic I also think it's pretty cool that Sayid's enmity and attempts at the life of young Ben are probably what turns him into the lovable dick that he is. As in Sayid's poor treatment of Ben in the past leads to Ben's poor treatment of Sayid in the present. Or Sayid teaches Ben how to be a badass. Which would make sense, and be awesome.
The Picture - I did have a problem with that. Mainly because Sawyer/Locke/Hurley etc... were living in the barracks in season 4. The picture of them in '78 was in...the Barracks. Yes, it's cool when Christian pulls down the picture, but logically speaking, well. ,
The Purge - It's caused by the castaways. Has to be. But, the question now is time. More to the point: as we saw in the flash back/forward the Orchid had not been built yet. I'm imagining that the creation of the Orchid is the event that starts this whole thing purge thing off. Simply enough, Farraday et al. know that the only way they will get back to their appropriate time is through that station...or the wheel. I'm fairly certain that the only way for the castaways to get back will be to sacrifice the Dharma Initiative. And they'd be up shit creek without James LeFleur. Let's be honest now.
The Orchid - Makes me wonder about the time frame we'll be spending in the super bad 70's. i'd imagine that it's going to take some time to build a space time pod. And, as we know, Farraday is there for the discovery of the tachyons or whatever they find down there. Also, the time disparity does help my Miles is Marvin Candle's son theory because we have no idea how much time has or will pass between 78 and then. Probably not a whole lot though.
Desmond - Hopefully he'll show up soon, brother. Hopefully he's not a widower. I mean, yes, Ben is pretty bad ass. But Desmond's got training. Army training (do your best Bill Murray). And he's kind of bigger then Ben
. What probably happens is that he comes to kill her, but Desmond has one of his time hop memory things go on, and knows that he's coming. So now he must go to the island to assure that he gets the message. To himself. Or something.
Lapidus - I miss the beard. Glad he's back on the show though.
The boat issue - I'm curious to see if the boat that Sawyer/Miles/Juliet found was Sun and Frank's or a boat captained by John Locke and Ben Linus. As is to say, they killed one of the Ajirans during the time hop. The Ajirans were probably chasing Ben and Locke though. I can't see Sun and Lapidus raising anoyone's hackles to the point of attempted murder. Ben and Locke? Yes.
Enigmatic types usually inspire blind rage in people.
Ceasar & Federal Agent what'shername- Ceasar is obioulsy a Widmore plant. He knew to go to the Leviathin. He's on that plane. If he isn't then why is he getting so much face time? The Fed...probably not, but I wouldn't rule it out entirely. Would explain why they're extraditing Sayid. I mean the guy killed enough people in America to be tried there. All I'm saying is that his being on the plane was suspect.
Where's Farraday? - With Alpert. Probably talking about time flow/travel/ancient Egyptian culture. Because as I've said. Giant Horus statue+guy who doesn't age+eyeliner = eternal ancient Egyptian/Highlander. The island was probably some floating island (more Chrono Trigger than Battle Angel) that floated above Tunisia (remember the comic book that Alpert showed child Locke in Season 4...with the floating island) . Actually, it's probably Lemuria (high tech nemeses of the Atlanteans...if I remember correctly) or something to that effect. It would explain why they keep popping up in Tunisia. Damn that got off topic, but hey it's another interesting theory. (read it here 2 weeks earlier.) So, yes, Farraday probably went hostile after seeing kid Charlotte (the timetable is proper fucked on that one). Or he's on another island. Or just living in caves and writing bat symbols on the wall.
Radzinsky - Good to finally see him. He does seem like the kind of guy who would live in the Swan indefinitely. I guess, chronologically, the Swan came first. I don't know. Need more info on the timetable. Seems that the Orchid gets the time hops done and the Swan handles the excess energy that was tapped by revealing the time wheel.
Christian - Kind of wished it was Claire that showed up, but that would lead to the characters asking too many logical questions.
Rose and Bernard - Those were the skeletons in the caves. Not Jack and Kate. Or they're chilling in other-town. I don't know. They're probably dead in that cave. Rose will be missed, but she's been under used since Season 2 anyway. Better to burn out then fade away. Seeing as I've given them more thought then the characters on the show seemingly have.
Jack and Kate - Better not break up the Juliet and Sawyer pairing. They seem like a better match to be honest. Also, neither one of them is capable of actively loving another person. It's really that the two are handily my least favorite characters on the show. Especially Jack. No, especially Kate. It's that type of thing.
Aaron - Who cares? He's in Korea...I don't fucking know. How interessting is a toddler in the grand scheme of things?
Baby Ethan - Sucks to be that baby. Still, very cute moment. Personally, I'm more curious about when a young Friendly shows up. He best to. Although, Ethan looked pretty rough for 26. (He was born in '78 Seasons 1-4 all take place in '04 mainly...go math!)
The big problem - Ben knowing all of this beforehand. You'd think that he'd, at some point, slip up and call Sawyer LeFleur...or the whole thing with Juliet. I mean, yes, I am enjoying it more since the time hops stopped. Yes, I still get excited when they have the self referential moments. Yes, I'm all about the reveals. But, the plot holes still bother me. Still a Lost zealot, but they keep pushing with the ridiculous this season. Can't we just blow up Dr.Arzt again? Can it be that it was all so simple then? It kind of was. And then they gave us exactly what we, the obsessive bloggers, wanted.
That's really it. One note though, when they got to the docks I wanted Sun to say, "Oh, these are the docks where I murdered Carol (or whatever her name was)." Well they were. Peace.
Time killing: comic reviews for 3/18/09. With my frequently accurate predictions.
I know nobody reads this, but I find it enjoyable. Frankly, I don't blame you. Much like the cigarette the comic book in and of itself is an addiction of sorts. Not, the casual reading of a trade papaerback, or giving a comic book a chance. No, I speak of something far more sinister: the almost slavish and compulsie act of new comic book day. That's all I got.
Dark Avengers#3 - It's refreshing to know that there is someone out there that shares my almost fanatical love of "Five Guys Burgers and Fries". That said, I have never gotten an onion ring or shake there. May be regional. I just don't know. Anyway, the book itself is a fun quick read. Good interactions between Osbourn and Sentry, and Sentry's wife, and her fear coma. I don't know, it's fun. A lot more fun the former Mighty Avengers, but not as enjoyable mean spirited as Ellis' Thunderbolts. Solid title. Oh, and the $4 comics may bring upon the comics crash of 2011-2012. (Call it a hunch.)
Ultimatum #3 - It's an improvment, I guess. The pace is moving briskly. I'll give it that. Jeph Loeb books always have pretty neat fight scenes? My main problem with the whole Ultimatum thing is that 1) Wildstorm did the exact same, totally destroy our universe beyond reasonable expectations, thing, more or less, a year ago. If anything, it got me to drop the Wildstorm books I was reading. And the Image "what-have-you-verse" may have just done the same thing. Maybe. I read Invincible in trade so...I flipped through and things seem to have gotten a bit out of hand.2) All the rampant killing may be short sighted, but it's comis. Granted Ultimate Longshot may have run out of juice, or could have been the biggest thing since chromium. We'll never know, but we've eaten plenty of more ridiculous retcons so it's not a big deal. 3) On the whole sale slaughter of characters: it gets old faster than anyone ever thinks. After issue 1 I was surprised by the amount of carnage. By 2 I was at least surprised by the cannibalism. Now, it's pretty much whatever. I do like the whole "nobody's safe" element though. Although, all but 1-2, have been pretty safe choices. (As the vast majority has really been house cleaning.) Eh, it's the best issue yet? Maybe? You shouldn't be able to read a $4 book this quickly, but the art's pretty sort of debate.
Deadpool: Games of Death - It's things like this that made the character less visible in previous years. I think that's the most diplomatic way of putting it. Van Damme and Walker Texas Ranger jokes...says it all...and there's actually a rapper named 8ball...been around for years...like 15-20...had some hits...you know 8ball and MJG? No? You think someone would check that out. Moving on.
Wolverine #71 - Thoroughly enjoyable. It's Millar and McNiven. It's entertaining as ever, and the delays are far more reasonable then Ultimates. I would consider that to be a positive. And it sells well too. Except that one with the moloids. Moloids have a very low Q rating. Scary thing is that it probably reads even better in a trade. Eh, I'm helping the economy.
Uncany X-Men #507 - Also, thoroughly enjoyable. I know the internet is rather torn on the book, but I think it's tits. Solid pace and quality artwork. And it's got a good sense of humor. And with probably one of the least shocking shocking reveals of all time. But at least it's organic with the book. As opposed to...
X-Force #13 - Man, that last page. I keep giving you chances and you keep burning me. Now, I'm not talking about who takes said, semi-permanent, vacation in hell (comics). Wait. I am. Firstly, the character that leads to it all is acting more than slightly out of character. Second, we did this whole long beloved fixture in the storied X-Books (I'm half sarcastic here...) makes subsequent dick moves that they think is justified for the greater good, but makes them a pariah thing like once or twice a year. Oh, and it always comes back to bite them in the ass independently of the whole alienation thing. Aside from that the dialogue is fairly snappy, the art has the Megadeath concept album about the X-Men sensibility that the consumer has fallen in love with. It's not the crafting of issues on a quality of art/dialogue/action basis that I have issue with, but the overall plot points really. And some of the characterization. Oh, and why do they keep killing off characters after someone comes in and makes them viable again...or for the first time...depending on our opinion of the character in question.
X-Men Legacy #222 - For the serious fanboys really. As one, I enjoy it. It sells reasonably well given the inaccesability to the casual comic fan. That's about it. Solid 7-8 range on a monthly basis.
X-Factor #41 - The book is back to the caliber it was before whichever crossover messed up it's flow. Honestly I have a hard time remembering. I think it was Messiah CompleX. I think that's right. Anyway, it has been on poin for the past few issues. So, go with your money.
Punisher #3 - Dark Reign gave the character some new juice. As much as I enjoy Fraction: War Journal had lost some of it's steam towards the end. Entertaining read. Granted, the overarching interconnectedness of comics in general makes me wonder if anything will stick to the greater Reign business, but...I've got to ween myself off of all of this obsessive fanboy shit...look it's a fun read...I really say that a lot, but it's super hero comics. If you're not enjoying it, then, you shouldn't be reading it. If only I could take my own advice...
Ultimate X-Men #100 - Big week for the letter X. The book has been a lot more readable since Aaron Coleite took over, but there was never a chance that it would get back to the original runs on the book. Part of that is that the property just started getting a bit silly a few years ago. And, much like the 616 books it got bogged down by ancillary characters. The issue as it stands is an enjoyable one, comparatively, if you can look past an entertaining, and frankly rick-diculous, retcon that pushes much of it. Ultimate Lorelei may have the shortest career of any character in comics...ever.
Amazing Spider-Man #588- Jury's out. On the merits of the issue iteslf: JRJR is consistent as...you get JRJR on a book and you know how it will look. The guy is as consistent as your Mark Balgey and almost as prolific in regard to output. The writing is...Spider-Man is an irritating character 50% of te time. Nature of the beast. You get a character that's supposed to be funny, and well like anything comedy you gel with it or you don't. I didn't. No Stacey/Osborn babies, though, or face eating. That's a plus.
Predictions for the rest of the year: Hank McCoy ends up running the X-ship once the current regieme is found to be unfit. As in, you can't have the two characters in the book teetering around shoe dropping territory on a monthly basis without...shoes dropping. X-Force is slowly being revealed, and we've got a Dark Reign crossover coming later in the year so. Logic dictates that something will give eventually.
That whole, Osborn kills someone publicly thing: Ms. Marvel I. Or one of the Avengerbolts does the deed, publicly.
Messaih War will...Stryfe...really? Look you bring back the Magus and I'm fine. You bring back Douglock...again...probably in New Mutants. Ink shows up as Vibe '08. Whatever Cuz. But Stryfe? He's the representation of everything that went wrong in the '90's. I mean he's a clone for god's sake. Clones are what got us all in this mess in the first place. Cable sells pretty well so I don't expect him to die. Unless Hope gets sent farther into the future and coes back as some bad ass lady Cable type. Actually, that's not a terrible idea. I don't know, as long as they don't kill Warpath. They'll probably kill Warpath. Or maybe Elixir. Not Vanisher though. Kind of curious to see how they tie in Deadpool.
Blackest Night will probably not suck. Sinestro's Daughter is secretly Kyle Rayner's girlfriend...I forget her name. Triumphant moment ends up with Sinestro and Jordan back to back against ring zombies. Superboy Prime kills Connor, again, for all the right reasons this time. This whole redeem Prime thing is hopefully just a red herring. Henshaw finally dies...to come back as a black lantern...maybe. And it's really Earh-2 Batman all along. Oh, and Bart is probably back. And Jade. And I'd wager there will be a fair amount of Black Adam. He kills a lot of people.
Ultimate Spidey lives. I mean there's the whole nobody is safe thing, and then there's a terrible idea. If you ask me that's a terrible idea.
The Sentry will remain in a fight from the begining of it until the end of it. Maybe.
Oh, and Dick Grayson is Batman. Has been since Secret Six #2. Or maybe they made Tim Drake taller somehow. Barbra Gordon, fairly obviously, walks again this year. (Always wonder how they justify paralysis in a world with interstellar travel. Granted, it was a way to revolutionize the character in means of visibility and Killing Joke does deserve the hype it's always gotten. But, they've got living robots and spaceships and you've got someone in a wheelchair from a gunshot, and nobody should worry this much about these things. But thousands do. Oh well.) And Damian is Robin 4. And Tim Drake is Red Robin...probably.
And that's about it.
Dark Avengers#3 - It's refreshing to know that there is someone out there that shares my almost fanatical love of "Five Guys Burgers and Fries". That said, I have never gotten an onion ring or shake there. May be regional. I just don't know. Anyway, the book itself is a fun quick read. Good interactions between Osbourn and Sentry, and Sentry's wife, and her fear coma. I don't know, it's fun. A lot more fun the former Mighty Avengers, but not as enjoyable mean spirited as Ellis' Thunderbolts. Solid title. Oh, and the $4 comics may bring upon the comics crash of 2011-2012. (Call it a hunch.)
Ultimatum #3 - It's an improvment, I guess. The pace is moving briskly. I'll give it that. Jeph Loeb books always have pretty neat fight scenes? My main problem with the whole Ultimatum thing is that 1) Wildstorm did the exact same, totally destroy our universe beyond reasonable expectations, thing, more or less, a year ago. If anything, it got me to drop the Wildstorm books I was reading. And the Image "what-have-you-verse" may have just done the same thing. Maybe. I read Invincible in trade so...I flipped through and things seem to have gotten a bit out of hand.2) All the rampant killing may be short sighted, but it's comis. Granted Ultimate Longshot may have run out of juice, or could have been the biggest thing since chromium. We'll never know, but we've eaten plenty of more ridiculous retcons so it's not a big deal. 3) On the whole sale slaughter of characters: it gets old faster than anyone ever thinks. After issue 1 I was surprised by the amount of carnage. By 2 I was at least surprised by the cannibalism. Now, it's pretty much whatever. I do like the whole "nobody's safe" element though. Although, all but 1-2, have been pretty safe choices. (As the vast majority has really been house cleaning.) Eh, it's the best issue yet? Maybe? You shouldn't be able to read a $4 book this quickly, but the art's pretty sort of debate.
Deadpool: Games of Death - It's things like this that made the character less visible in previous years. I think that's the most diplomatic way of putting it. Van Damme and Walker Texas Ranger jokes...says it all...and there's actually a rapper named 8ball...been around for years...like 15-20...had some hits...you know 8ball and MJG? No? You think someone would check that out. Moving on.
Wolverine #71 - Thoroughly enjoyable. It's Millar and McNiven. It's entertaining as ever, and the delays are far more reasonable then Ultimates. I would consider that to be a positive. And it sells well too. Except that one with the moloids. Moloids have a very low Q rating. Scary thing is that it probably reads even better in a trade. Eh, I'm helping the economy.
Uncany X-Men #507 - Also, thoroughly enjoyable. I know the internet is rather torn on the book, but I think it's tits. Solid pace and quality artwork. And it's got a good sense of humor. And with probably one of the least shocking shocking reveals of all time. But at least it's organic with the book. As opposed to...
X-Force #13 - Man, that last page. I keep giving you chances and you keep burning me. Now, I'm not talking about who takes said, semi-permanent, vacation in hell (comics). Wait. I am. Firstly, the character that leads to it all is acting more than slightly out of character. Second, we did this whole long beloved fixture in the storied X-Books (I'm half sarcastic here...) makes subsequent dick moves that they think is justified for the greater good, but makes them a pariah thing like once or twice a year. Oh, and it always comes back to bite them in the ass independently of the whole alienation thing. Aside from that the dialogue is fairly snappy, the art has the Megadeath concept album about the X-Men sensibility that the consumer has fallen in love with. It's not the crafting of issues on a quality of art/dialogue/action basis that I have issue with, but the overall plot points really. And some of the characterization. Oh, and why do they keep killing off characters after someone comes in and makes them viable again...or for the first time...depending on our opinion of the character in question.
X-Men Legacy #222 - For the serious fanboys really. As one, I enjoy it. It sells reasonably well given the inaccesability to the casual comic fan. That's about it. Solid 7-8 range on a monthly basis.
X-Factor #41 - The book is back to the caliber it was before whichever crossover messed up it's flow. Honestly I have a hard time remembering. I think it was Messiah CompleX. I think that's right. Anyway, it has been on poin for the past few issues. So, go with your money.
Punisher #3 - Dark Reign gave the character some new juice. As much as I enjoy Fraction: War Journal had lost some of it's steam towards the end. Entertaining read. Granted, the overarching interconnectedness of comics in general makes me wonder if anything will stick to the greater Reign business, but...I've got to ween myself off of all of this obsessive fanboy shit...look it's a fun read...I really say that a lot, but it's super hero comics. If you're not enjoying it, then, you shouldn't be reading it. If only I could take my own advice...
Ultimate X-Men #100 - Big week for the letter X. The book has been a lot more readable since Aaron Coleite took over, but there was never a chance that it would get back to the original runs on the book. Part of that is that the property just started getting a bit silly a few years ago. And, much like the 616 books it got bogged down by ancillary characters. The issue as it stands is an enjoyable one, comparatively, if you can look past an entertaining, and frankly rick-diculous, retcon that pushes much of it. Ultimate Lorelei may have the shortest career of any character in comics...ever.
Amazing Spider-Man #588- Jury's out. On the merits of the issue iteslf: JRJR is consistent as...you get JRJR on a book and you know how it will look. The guy is as consistent as your Mark Balgey and almost as prolific in regard to output. The writing is...Spider-Man is an irritating character 50% of te time. Nature of the beast. You get a character that's supposed to be funny, and well like anything comedy you gel with it or you don't. I didn't. No Stacey/Osborn babies, though, or face eating. That's a plus.
Predictions for the rest of the year: Hank McCoy ends up running the X-ship once the current regieme is found to be unfit. As in, you can't have the two characters in the book teetering around shoe dropping territory on a monthly basis without...shoes dropping. X-Force is slowly being revealed, and we've got a Dark Reign crossover coming later in the year so. Logic dictates that something will give eventually.
That whole, Osborn kills someone publicly thing: Ms. Marvel I. Or one of the Avengerbolts does the deed, publicly.
Messaih War will...Stryfe...really? Look you bring back the Magus and I'm fine. You bring back Douglock...again...probably in New Mutants. Ink shows up as Vibe '08. Whatever Cuz. But Stryfe? He's the representation of everything that went wrong in the '90's. I mean he's a clone for god's sake. Clones are what got us all in this mess in the first place. Cable sells pretty well so I don't expect him to die. Unless Hope gets sent farther into the future and coes back as some bad ass lady Cable type. Actually, that's not a terrible idea. I don't know, as long as they don't kill Warpath. They'll probably kill Warpath. Or maybe Elixir. Not Vanisher though. Kind of curious to see how they tie in Deadpool.
Blackest Night will probably not suck. Sinestro's Daughter is secretly Kyle Rayner's girlfriend...I forget her name. Triumphant moment ends up with Sinestro and Jordan back to back against ring zombies. Superboy Prime kills Connor, again, for all the right reasons this time. This whole redeem Prime thing is hopefully just a red herring. Henshaw finally dies...to come back as a black lantern...maybe. And it's really Earh-2 Batman all along. Oh, and Bart is probably back. And Jade. And I'd wager there will be a fair amount of Black Adam. He kills a lot of people.
Ultimate Spidey lives. I mean there's the whole nobody is safe thing, and then there's a terrible idea. If you ask me that's a terrible idea.
The Sentry will remain in a fight from the begining of it until the end of it. Maybe.
Oh, and Dick Grayson is Batman. Has been since Secret Six #2. Or maybe they made Tim Drake taller somehow. Barbra Gordon, fairly obviously, walks again this year. (Always wonder how they justify paralysis in a world with interstellar travel. Granted, it was a way to revolutionize the character in means of visibility and Killing Joke does deserve the hype it's always gotten. But, they've got living robots and spaceships and you've got someone in a wheelchair from a gunshot, and nobody should worry this much about these things. But thousands do. Oh well.) And Damian is Robin 4. And Tim Drake is Red Robin...probably.
And that's about it.
Comic book reviews 3/11/09...god I need a new full time gig.
Current mood:
amused Young Liars #13 - Good god. I would liken this book to the worst acid trip you have ever taken, or what it must feel like to slowly go mad from syphillis. And I mean that as the highest compliment. Every month David Lapham takes a shit on my soul and vomits in my mind grapes in the most fascinating way. Seriously, this book is incredibly entertaining, and proper fucked up. Challenging and bizarre, dense and thoroughly enjoyable. I've been reading it for over a year and could not offer a real explination of what has been going on with any real certainty.
Special Forces #4 - I'm torn. The writing and characterization in this book have been spot on. The art, before this issue, was the caliber I expect from Baker. But, I'm so very torn on the Suda 51/ Jet Set Radio style visuals here. Something about the 3-D mapping is a tad off putting to me. Also, this book was hampered by lateness, and my inability to keep track of my books so I was a tad in the dark on the plot, but it's a fairly easy one to put together. I'd say it's a buy, though.
Walking Dead #59 - It is a credit to Robert Kirkman that he has managed to keep a serialized zombie book going this long. Seriously, I did not think that the whole Zombie Apocalypse thing could be this gripping for five years, but I was wrong. Entertaining as ever. Even if it's an incrimental moe in the overall plot. Good shit. Go read it from the start. The man does the unthinkable every five issues.
The Stand: American Nightmares (1 of 5) - It's good. Solid art from Perkins. Damn fine adaptation. I was never that into the Dark Tower books and haven't read a Stephen king book in oer a decade, but The Stand was laways my favorite. I think I actually enjoy it more then the ABC mini (and it's endearingly dated special effects) and that's saying something.
And now onto the traditional cape and tight fare. And the bile shall flow.
Captain Britain # 11 - One of the best things to come from the Secret Inavasion. It's like the Excalibur of old, and the Wisdom mini had a baby. All around entertaining. Hopefully the guy doing fills won't stay around forever, but that aside, it's as entertaining as ever.
Booster Gold # 18 - A few months ago I realized that I was only buying this book because of my love of JLI. It's not god awful, but at the same time I never really feel a tingle of excitement to read it. It's a decent read, but I'd probably drop it if I was paying full price (or money) for books. Non-commital as ever. It's a solid 6 -6.5.
Batman: Battle for the Cowl: This book sold out incredibly quickly today. After reading it...I'm not really sure why. It doesn't really cover anything terribly new that hasnt been repeated ad nauseum in the core bat books: Batman gone. Gotham fall apart. Character look longinly at cape and cowl. And scene. I mean it's not that bad and, in fairness, it's the first issue so it'll probably pick up. And Batman's on my pull anyway so it'd be more of a hassle to drop it. I don't know. It's not god awful, but kind of underwhelming. Jason Todd Batman looks kind of cool looking in a 90's way. Look, it's going to be Dick Grayson. It has to be. Nothing else really works. Tim Drake is just too short. It too is in placed in the 6-6.5 zone.
Invincible Iron-Man # 11 - Go buy it. Says it all really. Stark is like movie Stark. The plot is fast moving and sweeping. And Fraction found a way to make Maria Hill likable. And LaRocca uses John Locke as a model for Stark.
Green Lanter Corps #34 - Thoroughly above average. Consistent art and characterization mixes with a lead in to a hopefully non-shitty summer event. If Blackest Night is as good as Sinestro Corps War then right on. Although this whole zombie lantern thing scares me on a cash in level. That's really it. And I also hope they don't try to mash the rainbow of colors into too few books. We'll see though. Geoff Johns doesn't usually fuck up and the Corps team is consistent as ever. I wouldn't feel stupid for paying cover for this book.
Guardians of the Galaxy #11- Even the B and C story lines in this book are pretty entertaining. Always a good choice. Even without Pellitier. (I know I butchered the spelling.)
Nightcrawler: Manifest Destiny - Even though I love the character...it's kind of underwhelming. The intor and outro are cute. The overall museum premise is cute, but the whole "I look like a monster and people judge me for it, but I'll rise above" plot line is the premise of every other book spotlighting the character. That's really the problem with the book. This story has been told with this character countless times. That's really it.
Iron Fist # 23 - I am amazed by how well this book has surived the regieme change. It's still a solid read every month. And as this is a month I will be reading it. Even if it has gone all Yu-Yu Hakusho. I always liked Yu-Yu Hakusho so it works.
X-Men Noir #4 - Talk about dropping the ball. Not that the ball was very high mind you it has still been dropped. Look, this is the problem: Firstly, you have to throw in all of these characters. Because it's cool to see them in noir setting. And you've got to throw in Unus the Untouchable because that would be a great name for a mobster. And Gambit. People go apeshit for Gambit...for some reason. I think it was the cartoon to be honest. Certainly wasn't all the hot pink. Anyway, the problem with casting this wide of a net is that the plot twists in the final issue ring hollow. I have no real investment in these characters. Thusly, I don't find the revelations all that shocking. Or really care for that matter. Also, my lack of connection with said characters means I would not have even noticed the ticks towards these plot twists in the first place. And, frankly, one of the big reveals is from, well, I'm not going to spoil it, but fuck it nobody reads this...it's from The Prestige. Which is kind of lazy. Good start. But it fell under it's own weight really.
On the Lost blogosphere and LeFleur (while I'm already doing this)
Simply enough I'm starting to grow tired of an alarmingly growing trend. I will post something here. Two weeks later I will go to one of two "Lost" fansites that I frequent. I will see the exact same thing I posted here on my blog recapitulated with less stylistic verve and casual swearing. More to the point: Will you dirty cunting fuckers throw me a credit for this shit? Seriously. What you are all doing is morally questionable and dishonest and just plain lazy. And I know you'll see this when you're surfing the web for interessting theories on Lost or someone to do the cognitive heavy lifting for you. Or you already know to come here when the well gets dry. So in closing, I'm not going to stop my meager postings. And, I'm going to stop bitching about the intellectual theft that permeates the staid writings of the "Lost" blogosphere. I just want you to know that I know. And I want you to know that I know that you know that I know. And I want you to know that I know that you know that I know that this Kill bill vol. 1 joke doesn't really fit in (I mean the Zoe Bell connection is a weak one...I really just thought that this would be a funny way to end it.)
And onto LaFleur. So first thing is the Miles as Marvin Candle's baby theory really gained some legs. Here's why: I went to BuddyTV's Lost Easter Eggs (Shocking someone credited another source) and they said that it was interessting that Miles' fake Darhma name was Enos because Enos is the son of Seth who was the rival of Horus. So, thusly I think that it's a pretty interessting clue to both a coming enmity betwixt Candle and Horace, but also that Miles is the progeny of Candle.
And hey, they showed the statue...which is probably Horus (yet again BuddyTV). So, the ancient egyptians then. Makes sense when you think about it seeing as many fringe anthropologists have stated that there may be some extra-planetary connection between the pyramid building cultures of central America and the Egyptians.
They stopped the time jumps. Nobody is more thrilled about this then me. At the same time though...retcon much? Okay, big thing here is this...how in the name of sweet fuck all are we supposed to be alright with the fact that there has been a picture on the island with Sawyer, Jin, Jack and the rest for the past thirty odd years and nobody has said "Hey, aren't you that guy from the picture?" But hey, it worked in "The Shining" (the movie...obviously...go read the book though...it's actually scary...keep in mind I haven't read it in fifteen years so my opinion may be jaundiced by nostalgia.) Just saying is all.
Sawyer and Juliet: Works for me. Also kind of interessting, as it goes with the shows mythos and themes of role reversal in relation to the island and the outside world, that the two people who were in pretty darn dysfunctional relationships off island (con man/ perennial other woman) could make it work on island. Although hopefully doesn't pull a Kate and opt to attempt a reconnection with Kate. Because Kate will never love Sawyer for who he is as Jack will never love Kate for who she is.
Baby Charlotte: Math don't work... unless she was lying about her age. Or the island made a time jump while she was on it...actually that's probably going to happen when they breach the wall and build the Orchid station. And then everyone ends up in their appropriate time again, possibly. Which probably happens in the finale or beforehand.
The pace: far more ginger since 316 aired. Really glad they didn't drag that out. Still curious as to why Hurley got on that plane though. Maybe Libby will show up. God willing.
Sawyer and Alpert: Good shit. And hey, finally the original characters are back to doing the outwitting again. When oh when do we get the Alpert flashback episode? I mean, dammit, this is the one character I desperately want to get answers for and...nothing. Although the eye-liner/ statue of Horus connection are already starting to percolate in the mind grapes. (ancient Egyptians...eye liner...read a book.)
So, the real question: Why is Sun in the present? I'm just curious is all. Oh, and why did Abadon go out so easily in last week's episode? I mean you build this guy up. You have him showing up periodically as this enigmatic figure and then gun shot. And by that same token: If Widmore knew to send Abadon to encourage Locke to get on the flight that put him on the island in the first place...why wouldn't he put some of his people on it? As in, the guy knows all of this shit to push Locke onto the plane. And yes, I know it's because there was no Charles Widmore before season 2, but you could even work that as a slightly more digestible retcon. And then they're all like Rose is the mole. (cue sound effect)
Lost Seasons 1 & 2 on Blu-Ray: Well played. They found a way to make me by the same DVDs twice...again.
That's about it really.
Watchmen review. With all the CG blue wang you can handle.
| The main difference between 300 and Watchmen is the source material. While, "300" the graphic novel was alright, Watchmen is the greatest super hero comic ever written. Period. More to the point I went into 300 thinking, "Trailer looked pretty awesome." And the movie was pretty awesome. I went into Watchmen thinking, "God, I hope they don't fuck this up." So, onto the review. It was pretty good. I prefer the squid, but the squid adds another half hour to the plot and, inevitably, a lot of people yelling about the old writer and the old Indian lady. Anyway, as a whole it's pretty entertaining. And it's about as faithful as you can get within the span of a two and a half hour movie. I would be curious to see how well the plot goes over with someone who has never read the graphic novel. As far as how easy it is to follow, and how sensical everything seems. Aside from that I'd say it's worth your 8-10 dollars. No, it's not goig to change the world. And no, it's not going to do for film making what the graphic novel did for comics, but I never expected it to. So, all in all, go. You could do a lot worse. And now, for the fanboy griping Massive Spoilers Ahead. If you've never read the book. Which you should do. Firstly, and I think this says a lot about our modern society, it is way more brutal then the book and nobody smokes in it. Just think about that for a second. While Steve made the valid point that it sells the intesity of the hits: I still felt wierd about the rape scene being all 300ish. Also, while I didn't really mind the slo-mo that much certain parts, like the Comedian throwing the cup in the beginning, seemed a bit much at times. Kid Rorschach needs to put the cigarette out on that kid's eye in the flashback. I always thought that was hardcore. Captain Metropolis is conflated into Ozymandias in the Crimebusters '68 meeting. It makes sense for the point of pacing, and they keep a lot of the original dialogue. I'm still a Metropolis loyalist. Also, the board does not say "Black unrest". Silk Spectre 2 is a tad more vanilla in this version. I don't know. I always read her being a bit more contrary and desperate (Obviously when the go'vt gives her the boot) in the book. Also, wanted more of the Rorschach back story. I know Kitty Genovese has been a plot point in other films (Boondock Saints), but it worked in the book. I missed the street characters, but it wouldn't have worked out with the length. I know. I also missed the two enigmatic bald asian guys that Viedt left to die in his bubble lair. They NEVER refer to themselves as the Watchmen in the book. I get it though. You'd then have a bunch of fuckwits in the theater screaming "Ah, they named the movie after a fucking metaphor. This is bullshit." There can never be enough Bubastis. And in closing. Thank you for dropping the time hops Lost. And go see the movie. You'll like it. Probably. |
Lost and comics. More bitching, one post to go to.
Friday, February 20, 2009
| Current mood:  blah Let's start with the Lost. Still entertaining on a week to week basis as far as the writing of dialogue, the self referential nods and the overall pacing of the show and creation of a unified feel. (Now, on with the polemic.) But...how do I put this...when did this show turn into fucking Doctor Who? Yes, time travel was cool in those Desmond episodes. No, it is not cool that the whole show is fundametally the same thing. How do I put this...OVERUSE OF TIME TRAVEL AS A STORYTELLING DEVICE WAS INTEGRAL IN THE DECLINE IN QUALITY OF HEROES. I get it that from a writerly stance it is always better to show in lieu of telling. And yes, it's cool that the characers are playing an active role in the storied island backstory that we have been waiting for 5 years to get, but it gets tiresome when it is used 5 times an episode. But this ties into my main problem with the overarching story of the show. This is that theory: The show's endgame and major plot points were formulated in the break between seasons 2 and 3. As in, the creators did not have a concrete plan except for vague, loosely supernatural elements, until the start of Season 3. But Bryan where's your evidence? Simple. It can be found in the miniseason that started season 3. The proof: Jin, Sun and Sayid's discovery that the Others had built a fake shanty town, were purposefully wearing tattered clothes and fake fucking beards. That simple bit is an example of the sloppiest and cheapest cop outs I have ever seen. It is an afront to the intelligence of the audience, and a testament to the skill of the creators that they made it fly...sort of. And the simple fact that so many elements that were prominent in Season 2 were totally dropped. Where's Kelvin? What about the all important black light map? What about the statue? Also, why would they get Dharma food drops if every last Dharma member, pretty much, had been dead for 15-20 years? Charles Widmore goes from minor character, in Season 2, to driving force on the show? All of the tailies, except Bernard, died? (I know that one was based on real world logistics, but still got to throw it in.) Henry Gale running the show? (Yet again, I know it's because he's awesome and tests well and has really given the show legs.) The other proof: the wildly varrying theories about Lost. Granted, good writing is always open to interpretation and speculation. And Lost is a damn good show. Wouldn't be writing about it if I didn't enjoy it so much. But, points of diergence when reading Flannery O'Connor is usually looked at as going to route A and B. Lost theories went all over the spectrum. And that is because at it's heart for the first two seasons the show was, at it's heart, an engaging character driven show with vague supernatural undertones. What I'm saying is that the authors left things vague intentionally so there could be a way out, no matter which direction they went in. And yes, the defenders always say, what about the skeleton's in Season 1? But, at the same point the conjecture that they were pre-existing characters. It had never been explicitly stated. There was no real inkling of time travel. And in fact, the only character who really addressed these phenomenal issues was the faith based Locke. As there was no character to represent the psuedo-scientific the fact that the show went so far in that direction seems a departure. (Yes, most of the theories are based on actual quantum physics, but we don't have time machines so I'm going to call it psuedo-science, also because things I don't fully understand frighten me.) More to the point, time travel didn't really come up in Seasons 1-2. We had mysterious viruses. We had some hatches and some mysterious virus that was brought up, but that didn't effect the castaways and went back into the ether. Granted one could say it was the time traveling virus, but...THERE WAS A VACCINE. But, at the same time, it could be argued that the inital plans of the creators are being honored through the time travel arc. As in they had these overarching plans involving the Dharma Initiative and its characters. They realized that wouldn't be compelling for a full 3-4 seasons. So, they found the most entertaining way to stretch it out to reach a potentially similar ending. So, yep, that's really it. But, at the same time, one has to applaud the character's for making it all work as well as it does. Few shows have sparked this rabid a fanbase in years. Few have taken a serialized drama with an ensemble cast, supernatural bent, real world logistics and created a product that holds together as well as the show does. So, yep, I'm just saying that I think things changed drastically between seasons is all. And rightly so, the original character's didn't have more then 2 seasons worth of juice to pull off entertaining flashbacks, with the exception of John Locke and Hurley, kind of. (Wait, Sawyer is pulling off a con, but in the end his heart and inate decency win out. Kate is on the run and it spells doom for those around him, but saving those around her is why she is on the run in the first place. Jack's perfectionism and need to solve problems lead to his own undoing...) Still one of my all time favorite shows. Just saying. Oh, and as for Season 5 theories...I don't even know anymore. Locke's obviously coming back. Ben is probably going to kill Penny. Desmond's going to have to go back to the island so he can go back and save her. (Because the rules don't apply to Desmond, as repeatedly stated) Also, one does have to wonder about the logistics of Ms. Hawking, the ring shop and her being an actual person with a son instead of some temporal being as originally posited by most. Kind of wonder why they got a guitar (probably Charlie's), Christian Shepard's shoes, a federal marshall and the rest, but neglected to get, you know, Walt. Who was on the fucking plane. (yet again, real world logistics I'd imagine.) I mean because Ben can get Hurley out of prison in 24 hours, but can't get a kid away from his grandmother. I'm just saying. Good show, I get there are real world concerns, just felt like pointing something out that I noticed. And now me bitching about comic books. Good day Lost fans. Okay, so I noticed something last week. Amazing Spider Man #583 is going to be the best selling book of the year hands down. It stole the tunder from Batman dying, sort of. It's got five printings of Obama variants. It is alsohandily one of, if not the, worst books of the year. Seriously, the back up story is writen for an 8 year old. And not a bright 8 year old at that. I don't know says a lot about the direction of the industry if you ask me. The other thing I noticed was this: The worse the event book the better the pay-off. Think about it the main Civil War book is hands down a better read then Secret Invasion in every sense of the word. The pacing is better. While I like Leinil Yu a lot I fucking loe Steve McNiven. And while Secret Invasion had some good moments and a great first issue: Civil War held it together for all seven issues. But, The Initiative fall out of Civil War got stale after 5-6 months. I mean it pretty much just followed the Civil War formula in every book of pro and anti reg talking about the other side's position being flawed. Dark Reign, on the other hand, looks to be pretty darn entertaining until 2011's Darker Reign. Moses Magnum, M'Baku, T'Challa, Cage, the Gauntlet, Storm and the rest form the Cluminati and take over things. Yes, I made a DJ Clue joke, go look him up, he was pretty big in the late 90's. If that's case though the new Ultimate line up should be awesome. Because the main Ultimatum book is kind of ass. Good, art, decent moments here and there, but it really just seems to be floating by on David Finch, staid writing and the shock value of offing so many prominent characters. Aside from that it's really nothing new. Magneto threatening the world with a pole reversal end game has been done two times, and better, in the last ten years (New X-Men and Ultimate X-men). I mean, I'm assuming that the endgame is pole reversal because it always is when it is a big Magneto story. Quick comic notes: Stop charging 3.99 for books when the book is half (title character name) Saga. It's misleading. And it encourages people to go through the whole book in the store to make sure that they're getting a full issue of new content. Yet another mild slap in the face of the loyal fanbase, business is business, nature of the beast, stop internet bitching, make your voice heard with sales, which will never happen, misplaced male aggression typical fanboy shit, I know . Final Crisis should have been longer, and I don't believe the line that there weren't massive re-writes to the last issue. Firstly, Mandrakk shows up in the Superman Beyond 3D and like the last ten pages of the book. Aquaman, seriously, he takes up probably a whole of 2 pages in the whole book and it is pretty much a simple "Oh, and Arthur Curry is back too" kind of thing. It started very strong and just fell apart at the end. It felt rushed. And it seemed to be massively re-written. Mainly because of the total drop in cohesion from issue 1-7. Mainly 5-7. Should have been like 9-12 issues. Secret Invasion should have been 6. That Savage Land shit got stale pretty quickly. And, no, nobody was fooled by Skrull Rogers. Stil, fantastic first issue. People actually called in to the store to talk about it. Kick-Ass: the Bollywood version. It's going to happen. I have sources. Indian sources. Less gay prostitue subplot (don't fly in India) more singing and dancing. Dark Wolverine ongoing. Terrible idea. Daken is a weak, me too, kind of character. Like we didn't have a good 30 some years of brooding fly off the handle regular Wolverine. Also, I'm still pissed that Sabretooth got killed off after he became entertaining again in Mike Carrey's X-men. Spider-Man. Dropping the fucking ball again. Character Assasination is easily the worst arc in recent memory. Harry Osborne's girlfriend...Menace...really. Jackpot...some chick...really. I don't know, more misses then hits lately. But, it's fucking Spider-Man and...what am I really expecting here? Reason I don't bitch about the indies is well...you can buy the one's you want. They're self contained. Typically...better. And have more casual swearing and ultra violence to distract you when they aren't that great. God, I need to start working more again. Peace. |
Instead of getting a real job...I'll post on Lost. Oh, with the massive theories and spoil
Current mood:
sleepy Anyway, onto the theorizing and proable spoilering (I'd put probable in the heading, but then you wouldn't read it. You've already navigated here and it'll take a second to load a new page so you may as well finish. You're already here.)
Why can't people have babies?: Well, as we saw there was a new born, asian baby who would be about thirty by the events of the sohw. I'll get to that. You can figure it out already. Yup. Him. Anyway, why was he the last baby born on the island? Well, when the stray time particles, or whatever, the baby had already been born. Why is that significant? As the energy, as we'll call it, was released the island became disloged from time. Previous events could not be changed. Persons, and dogs, could enter and interact and events could happen. They could leave, but they could not be created on the island. And the reason that women cannot carry children to term on the island is because new life cannot be created on the island. Items can enter and events can happen, but because the island exists independently of time...i think you get where this is going.
That age appropriate Asian baby: Its Spike from X-Men 3. It's fucking Lost. You don't show an asian baby without it coming back.
Where's Jin?: Its Lost. You aren't dead until a body is in the ground. Granted sometimes the body is alive when it goes in, but that can't happen every week. Anyway, Jin probably got fished out of the water...by the crew of the Black Rock. Why? Because it's a fucking awesome idea. And...it's Lost.
Ben and the butcher: The first rule of project mayhem is that you do not talk about project mayhem. I'm just saying. Glad to see what's her name from the Leviathin again though.
Who were those guys Locke Killed?: The rest of Rousseau's team of course. Good to see that they actually went nuts though.
Frogurt: Glad he's taking a permanent vacation in hell. YOU CAN'T ADD NEW CASTAWAYS. IT DOESN'T WORK. GLAD THEY KNOW THAT NOW. SQUIDBRAINS. I DO LOVE THE BOATIES THOUGH. THAT WAS A GOOD CALL.
Farraday's mom: The woman from the ring store/ time matron/ the chalk machine with the time gap. Kind of a gimmie.
Who called Brenda Walsh's dad on Kate?: Probably Sun. She's going to need someone else in on the plan to kill Ben. Also, you'd probably need to know about the island to know that its Claire's baby. So that shortens the list. Unless its Widmore, but he doesn't have as much motivation to get Kate on the run with Ben.
The Compass: Great moment. Makes you wonder if Alpert was testing kid child John Locke, last season, to see if his conciousness had somehow shunted into his child form after Locke's death or due to the time unsticking. Also good call with the pointing north. And the Yemi and the yeah.
Kelvin, the four toed statue and the smoke monster: I have no fucking new ideas. ninja turtles. Time travelling ninja turtles that have statues made of them. I don't know. But I'd like to.
WAAAAAAAALLLTTT!!!!!: Do they write it like that in the scripts? Just curious. I guess he might go back. It explains the three year time jumps repeated inclusion. And who wants to bet that they return to the island right around when they left. On a side note. But, I'd like to see him back.
In closing, I demand more Jeff Fahey. Peace.
Soon to be seen three weeks later on another Lost fan site under someone else’s name
Current mood:
apathetic So, first and foremost: the man on the boat. And I'm not sure why I don't see this posted everywhere, in fairness I don't really look that much, but look Michael is Ben's man on the boat. Think about it logically, they keep talking about it so you know that there has to be some sort of payoff, and frankly, the only logical choice would be Michael. He's the only person that has left the island. When he left the island I'm fairly certain that Ben told him to follow the heading exactly to find rescue. Which is pretty much what Faraday tells Lapides when he took off in the copter two weeks ago. Hence Ben knowing about the boat. I don't know, seems a little obvious/awesome (big on the Perrineau)
And now on to the star attraction, the time issues, so, right. As succinctly as I can put it there has always been some disparity between the island's time stream and the rest of the world. When the fail safe went off this field was left totally unrestrained. This probably exacerbated the disparity between time flows and such. Most of this has to do with that, well, when Desmond turned the key he traveled through, what was it called? Fucking time. That's what. It ain't perfect, but what the hell. And then there's the other thing.
So, Christian Shepard is in the cabin and a dead Alan Seward show up in seasons 4 and 3 respectively. This would lend some credence to the alternating time fields or my super bitching conscious island/lost boys theory. As in Jack and Locke's character defining daddy issues serving as the catalyst for some sort of bastard resurrection. But, I don't feel the need to be redundant so I'll drop this tangent now.
In other side news, part of me wonders if the island/Jacob/Falcor is playing John Locke for a fool and that in the end the innocence of that shamanic manchild/grenade for breakfast lunatic will provide the entity that is the island with it's salvation. Just a thought. But of course what posting about Lost, or any beloved cult TV show would be complete without a little good natured bitching.
Firstly, can we get some fucking answers with all this crazy? I don't need all the big shit at once, but damn could we find out what the fucking smoke monster is, with his silly face. Or the four toed statue. Or why in the name of all that is holy would the Others would go through the trouble of putting on fake beards and living in a fake society. (Because in the season 3 premiere Ben didn't go, "and while you're at it everyone put on your fake beards and go live in our make believe shanty town in case there are survivors." ) And it's not like it would fool Ben's pursuers as Miles pointed out in last week's episode with his don't talk to me line (which did kick some ass). Are we ever going to hear anymore mention of Kelvin (of the all important and super irrelevant dharma map, and wouldn't someone have put a stop to the psych experiment after 15 years if that's the reason that none of the hostiles investigated the whatever station, but at the same time would you leave a space time continuum threatening cataclysm up to chance for a psych experiment that was being executed by the very people that you purged off of the island)? What exactly were Roussaeu's team doing on the island if Ben had already purged the island, that may be a time line issue or maybe I've just forgotten (which is totally plausible.)
Anyway, in closing I still love the show. I mean anyone that spends an hour writing about a TV show obviously must feel some sort of affinity for it. And, part of me does secretly wish that when I watched porno that the end of the episode sound effect would play during the money shot. (Just think about it for a second...If you don't think it's funny then you're fucking repressed.) Oh, and I bet that either this season or whenever the oceanic six do get off of the island that they show up 2-7 episodes later all fucked up like in their respective flash forwards (except Kate shockingly enough. Baby stealer that she is. I mean I guess it probably means that Claire's dead, but it'd be interesting character growth if Kate stole a baby. ) I'll stop it there.
And now on to the star attraction, the time issues, so, right. As succinctly as I can put it there has always been some disparity between the island's time stream and the rest of the world. When the fail safe went off this field was left totally unrestrained. This probably exacerbated the disparity between time flows and such. Most of this has to do with that, well, when Desmond turned the key he traveled through, what was it called? Fucking time. That's what. It ain't perfect, but what the hell. And then there's the other thing.
So, Christian Shepard is in the cabin and a dead Alan Seward show up in seasons 4 and 3 respectively. This would lend some credence to the alternating time fields or my super bitching conscious island/lost boys theory. As in Jack and Locke's character defining daddy issues serving as the catalyst for some sort of bastard resurrection. But, I don't feel the need to be redundant so I'll drop this tangent now.
In other side news, part of me wonders if the island/Jacob/Falcor is playing John Locke for a fool and that in the end the innocence of that shamanic manchild/grenade for breakfast lunatic will provide the entity that is the island with it's salvation. Just a thought. But of course what posting about Lost, or any beloved cult TV show would be complete without a little good natured bitching.
Firstly, can we get some fucking answers with all this crazy? I don't need all the big shit at once, but damn could we find out what the fucking smoke monster is, with his silly face. Or the four toed statue. Or why in the name of all that is holy would the Others would go through the trouble of putting on fake beards and living in a fake society. (Because in the season 3 premiere Ben didn't go, "and while you're at it everyone put on your fake beards and go live in our make believe shanty town in case there are survivors." ) And it's not like it would fool Ben's pursuers as Miles pointed out in last week's episode with his don't talk to me line (which did kick some ass). Are we ever going to hear anymore mention of Kelvin (of the all important and super irrelevant dharma map, and wouldn't someone have put a stop to the psych experiment after 15 years if that's the reason that none of the hostiles investigated the whatever station, but at the same time would you leave a space time continuum threatening cataclysm up to chance for a psych experiment that was being executed by the very people that you purged off of the island)? What exactly were Roussaeu's team doing on the island if Ben had already purged the island, that may be a time line issue or maybe I've just forgotten (which is totally plausible.)
Anyway, in closing I still love the show. I mean anyone that spends an hour writing about a TV show obviously must feel some sort of affinity for it. And, part of me does secretly wish that when I watched porno that the end of the episode sound effect would play during the money shot. (Just think about it for a second...If you don't think it's funny then you're fucking repressed.) Oh, and I bet that either this season or whenever the oceanic six do get off of the island that they show up 2-7 episodes later all fucked up like in their respective flash forwards (except Kate shockingly enough. Baby stealer that she is. I mean I guess it probably means that Claire's dead, but it'd be interesting character growth if Kate stole a baby. ) I'll stop it there.
Man, Heores is fucking up.
Current mood:
quixotic Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Okay, so unfortunately my arch nemesis at a certain entertainment magazine that is released every seven days, but shall remain nameless may have already beaten me to the punch. Anyway though, I felt that it was my duty as a churlish layabout to comment on the sad state of affairs at NBC's once entertaining story of costumeless supertypes. And, so I'm just going to lay it out there. First problem I have with the show: they seriously have like six powers on the show. Seriously, it's season two and we're already seeing new people that can fly, a new regenerater, a different telepath and Veronica Mars with lightning powers when Peter can already shoot lightning; albeit unconvincingly. My point is this: is the well already dry? Seriously, even the semi-new powers have already been done before: we've got a girl who can remember everything and a chick who can do anything she sees on television. It just seems a little bit convenient is all I'm saying.
The next area of concern is of course: the dumbfuck plot lines this season. Oh, Hiro's in ancient Japan and he's about to come back to the present until...wait for it...continue waiting...an ad for Medium... oh, right Hiro...so he could come back to the present, but he changes his mind. Peter has a box that they keep advertising that contains his past. He then gets the box and then...wait for it...you get the drill...this joke wasn't funny 30 seconds ago...right, then he decides to not open the box for two episodes so he can make out with some chick with a high school production of My Fair Lady caliber accent. And don't even get me started on Nikki and Paolo and their journey to America. Oh, and that brilliant bit of casting where they replaced the kinda hot, but with a definite tranny vibe from Stick It with some red headed woman because she left to do reaper and explained it that she had a new identity. I'm not even going to get into the silliness of that. Fine I lied. THERE WOULD BE NO LOGICAL REASON FOR HER TO BE USING SOME DIFFERENT PERSONA WHEN SHE'S IN A FUCKING HUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAINFOREST OR WHEREVER. AND WHY DIDN'T SHE REVERT TO A FATTY WHEN THEY KNOCKED HER OUT IN THE SEASON 1 FINALE. Fuck, Blerg, Fuck.
And then, my god there's the actual use of the powers on the show. So lame. Especially the new flying bits with Hayden, I'm not even going to bother trying to spell her last name, and the funny looking emo kid. Actually, look at her facial expression during the first flying scene and try not to laugh. If you don't laugh, I don't know, you probably think David Caruso is under-acting. Anyway, there's that...um the 619 (but no West Coast Pop or dropping the dime, oh there goes my credibility, but if you get that joke doesn't that make you just as guilty of...nevermind?) Let me think there's the awesome shapeshifting by way of Jason Wyngarde and the fart noise that accompanies it. Um, there's the super awesome blurry cam speed beating of Mother Petrelli and so on. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say with this is that if it looks stupid don't do it. Or find a way to show less of it and imply more of it. And it's not like all of the effects are bad...just like 45-50 percent plus of them.
But wait there's more. My other gripe would of course be how they got rid of all of the ancillary characters in between seasons. And while none of them were particularly interesting, with the exception of DL, it's just a bit abrupt is all. Like the end of this paragraph.
Anyway, what they need to do is maybe find some compelling storylines (I mean you're already using The Legacy Virus why not another mid 90's favorite from the house of ideas?). Rip off cooler uses of the powers (I'm not going to do the lifting and spell those out here...Also my nemesis waits and watches and reads.) Oh, and more Ando. In closing, I'm going to say this now: Yes, I do think that I could do better. Not like anyone cares or who matters will read this, but sometimes you've just got to say it. So, yup Heroes is fucking up. And, yeah it's way worse than if that Lost mini-season had a baby with Nikki and Paolo (He just finds the hatch and leaves some jewels in the toilet...blerg) Later.
The next area of concern is of course: the dumbfuck plot lines this season. Oh, Hiro's in ancient Japan and he's about to come back to the present until...wait for it...continue waiting...an ad for Medium... oh, right Hiro...so he could come back to the present, but he changes his mind. Peter has a box that they keep advertising that contains his past. He then gets the box and then...wait for it...you get the drill...this joke wasn't funny 30 seconds ago...right, then he decides to not open the box for two episodes so he can make out with some chick with a high school production of My Fair Lady caliber accent. And don't even get me started on Nikki and Paolo and their journey to America. Oh, and that brilliant bit of casting where they replaced the kinda hot, but with a definite tranny vibe from Stick It with some red headed woman because she left to do reaper and explained it that she had a new identity. I'm not even going to get into the silliness of that. Fine I lied. THERE WOULD BE NO LOGICAL REASON FOR HER TO BE USING SOME DIFFERENT PERSONA WHEN SHE'S IN A FUCKING HUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAINFOREST OR WHEREVER. AND WHY DIDN'T SHE REVERT TO A FATTY WHEN THEY KNOCKED HER OUT IN THE SEASON 1 FINALE. Fuck, Blerg, Fuck.
And then, my god there's the actual use of the powers on the show. So lame. Especially the new flying bits with Hayden, I'm not even going to bother trying to spell her last name, and the funny looking emo kid. Actually, look at her facial expression during the first flying scene and try not to laugh. If you don't laugh, I don't know, you probably think David Caruso is under-acting. Anyway, there's that...um the 619 (but no West Coast Pop or dropping the dime, oh there goes my credibility, but if you get that joke doesn't that make you just as guilty of...nevermind?) Let me think there's the awesome shapeshifting by way of Jason Wyngarde and the fart noise that accompanies it. Um, there's the super awesome blurry cam speed beating of Mother Petrelli and so on. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say with this is that if it looks stupid don't do it. Or find a way to show less of it and imply more of it. And it's not like all of the effects are bad...just like 45-50 percent plus of them.
But wait there's more. My other gripe would of course be how they got rid of all of the ancillary characters in between seasons. And while none of them were particularly interesting, with the exception of DL, it's just a bit abrupt is all. Like the end of this paragraph.
Anyway, what they need to do is maybe find some compelling storylines (I mean you're already using The Legacy Virus why not another mid 90's favorite from the house of ideas?). Rip off cooler uses of the powers (I'm not going to do the lifting and spell those out here...Also my nemesis waits and watches and reads.) Oh, and more Ando. In closing, I'm going to say this now: Yes, I do think that I could do better. Not like anyone cares or who matters will read this, but sometimes you've just got to say it. So, yup Heroes is fucking up. And, yeah it's way worse than if that Lost mini-season had a baby with Nikki and Paolo (He just finds the hatch and leaves some jewels in the toilet...blerg) Later.
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