Current mood:
quixotic Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Okay, so unfortunately my arch nemesis at a certain entertainment magazine that is released every seven days, but shall remain nameless may have already beaten me to the punch. Anyway though, I felt that it was my duty as a churlish layabout to comment on the sad state of affairs at NBC's once entertaining story of costumeless supertypes. And, so I'm just going to lay it out there. First problem I have with the show: they seriously have like six powers on the show. Seriously, it's season two and we're already seeing new people that can fly, a new regenerater, a different telepath and Veronica Mars with lightning powers when Peter can already shoot lightning; albeit unconvincingly. My point is this: is the well already dry? Seriously, even the semi-new powers have already been done before: we've got a girl who can remember everything and a chick who can do anything she sees on television. It just seems a little bit convenient is all I'm saying.
The next area of concern is of course: the dumbfuck plot lines this season. Oh, Hiro's in ancient Japan and he's about to come back to the present until...wait for it...continue waiting...an ad for Medium... oh, right Hiro...so he could come back to the present, but he changes his mind. Peter has a box that they keep advertising that contains his past. He then gets the box and then...wait for it...you get the drill...this joke wasn't funny 30 seconds ago...right, then he decides to not open the box for two episodes so he can make out with some chick with a high school production of My Fair Lady caliber accent. And don't even get me started on Nikki and Paolo and their journey to America. Oh, and that brilliant bit of casting where they replaced the kinda hot, but with a definite tranny vibe from Stick It with some red headed woman because she left to do reaper and explained it that she had a new identity. I'm not even going to get into the silliness of that. Fine I lied. THERE WOULD BE NO LOGICAL REASON FOR HER TO BE USING SOME DIFFERENT PERSONA WHEN SHE'S IN A FUCKING HUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAINFOREST OR WHEREVER. AND WHY DIDN'T SHE REVERT TO A FATTY WHEN THEY KNOCKED HER OUT IN THE SEASON 1 FINALE. Fuck, Blerg, Fuck.
And then, my god there's the actual use of the powers on the show. So lame. Especially the new flying bits with Hayden, I'm not even going to bother trying to spell her last name, and the funny looking emo kid. Actually, look at her facial expression during the first flying scene and try not to laugh. If you don't laugh, I don't know, you probably think David Caruso is under-acting. Anyway, there's that...um the 619 (but no West Coast Pop or dropping the dime, oh there goes my credibility, but if you get that joke doesn't that make you just as guilty of...nevermind?) Let me think there's the awesome shapeshifting by way of Jason Wyngarde and the fart noise that accompanies it. Um, there's the super awesome blurry cam speed beating of Mother Petrelli and so on. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say with this is that if it looks stupid don't do it. Or find a way to show less of it and imply more of it. And it's not like all of the effects are bad...just like 45-50 percent plus of them.
But wait there's more. My other gripe would of course be how they got rid of all of the ancillary characters in between seasons. And while none of them were particularly interesting, with the exception of DL, it's just a bit abrupt is all. Like the end of this paragraph.
Anyway, what they need to do is maybe find some compelling storylines (I mean you're already using The Legacy Virus why not another mid 90's favorite from the house of ideas?). Rip off cooler uses of the powers (I'm not going to do the lifting and spell those out here...Also my nemesis waits and watches and reads.) Oh, and more Ando. In closing, I'm going to say this now: Yes, I do think that I could do better. Not like anyone cares or who matters will read this, but sometimes you've just got to say it. So, yup Heroes is fucking up. And, yeah it's way worse than if that Lost mini-season had a baby with Nikki and Paolo (He just finds the hatch and leaves some jewels in the toilet...blerg) Later.
The next area of concern is of course: the dumbfuck plot lines this season. Oh, Hiro's in ancient Japan and he's about to come back to the present until...wait for it...continue waiting...an ad for Medium... oh, right Hiro...so he could come back to the present, but he changes his mind. Peter has a box that they keep advertising that contains his past. He then gets the box and then...wait for it...you get the drill...this joke wasn't funny 30 seconds ago...right, then he decides to not open the box for two episodes so he can make out with some chick with a high school production of My Fair Lady caliber accent. And don't even get me started on Nikki and Paolo and their journey to America. Oh, and that brilliant bit of casting where they replaced the kinda hot, but with a definite tranny vibe from Stick It with some red headed woman because she left to do reaper and explained it that she had a new identity. I'm not even going to get into the silliness of that. Fine I lied. THERE WOULD BE NO LOGICAL REASON FOR HER TO BE USING SOME DIFFERENT PERSONA WHEN SHE'S IN A FUCKING HUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAINFOREST OR WHEREVER. AND WHY DIDN'T SHE REVERT TO A FATTY WHEN THEY KNOCKED HER OUT IN THE SEASON 1 FINALE. Fuck, Blerg, Fuck.
And then, my god there's the actual use of the powers on the show. So lame. Especially the new flying bits with Hayden, I'm not even going to bother trying to spell her last name, and the funny looking emo kid. Actually, look at her facial expression during the first flying scene and try not to laugh. If you don't laugh, I don't know, you probably think David Caruso is under-acting. Anyway, there's that...um the 619 (but no West Coast Pop or dropping the dime, oh there goes my credibility, but if you get that joke doesn't that make you just as guilty of...nevermind?) Let me think there's the awesome shapeshifting by way of Jason Wyngarde and the fart noise that accompanies it. Um, there's the super awesome blurry cam speed beating of Mother Petrelli and so on. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say with this is that if it looks stupid don't do it. Or find a way to show less of it and imply more of it. And it's not like all of the effects are bad...just like 45-50 percent plus of them.
But wait there's more. My other gripe would of course be how they got rid of all of the ancillary characters in between seasons. And while none of them were particularly interesting, with the exception of DL, it's just a bit abrupt is all. Like the end of this paragraph.
Anyway, what they need to do is maybe find some compelling storylines (I mean you're already using The Legacy Virus why not another mid 90's favorite from the house of ideas?). Rip off cooler uses of the powers (I'm not going to do the lifting and spell those out here...Also my nemesis waits and watches and reads.) Oh, and more Ando. In closing, I'm going to say this now: Yes, I do think that I could do better. Not like anyone cares or who matters will read this, but sometimes you've just got to say it. So, yup Heroes is fucking up. And, yeah it's way worse than if that Lost mini-season had a baby with Nikki and Paolo (He just finds the hatch and leaves some jewels in the toilet...blerg) Later.
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