Summer Loathing - Sitting out a Summer Event

This summer is looking up for the nerds as we've got Avengers and Dark Knight Rises, so there are at least two summer blockbusters that won't disappoint (because dammit Nolan could probably make Bat-Mite work honestly even if Bat-Mite was all CG and voiced by Eddie Murphy. Actually, I take that back; that would be fucking amazing...you know. Also, the new GI Joe can't be worse than the first one...right?). So as we've got the tent pole movies of every summer, we've also got 2 summer comic book events of every summer (down from 3 as the X-men and Marvel U general summer events are the same one for once) with AVX...obviously, and we've got the non company wide Before Watchmen. I'm thinking of sitting one out. As a borderline Marvel zombie, I will be following AVX as I really like the new energy that Aaron and Gillen have brought to the books. I read most of the Avengers proper because well they're generally engaging and like most comic book fans (I'm assuming from years as a fan and former comic shop employee that well people go apeshit for tie in books.) I'm a habitual completest. So pretty much, I'm not picking up anything I don't read for the tie ins, and I don't have to deal with the self contained tie in series that vacillate wildly in quality and relevance. So obviously, I'm going to be sitting out Before Watchmen (for the most part) and here's why.

#1 It's not a sacred cow thing.

Shouldn't Pig Pen be Rorschach?

Look, everyone loves Watchmen. I'm also going to put out there that the Watchmen movie was the best adaptation of a movie that never should have been made under any circumstances. What, it was engaging and the performances were pretty spot on. Sure, the ending of the movie was not the best, but I don't want to sit through another hour of movie because you have to add in the Black Freighter to add in the author of it and the island making that Cthulu thing (blah blah Architects of Fear- we all know; we're all clever; it's referenced in the book itself). So tangents aside, (what...dammit Bry) it's pretty much this - I revere the original work as everyone does; it truly is a nearly flawless work of sequential artistry. It deserves the accolades it has gotten. Yet as a nearly flawless, work there is one implicit caveat that must be accepted: it tells a complete story. Even if not labored about, we can see both explicitly and tacitly the character arcs that moved Rorschach from slightly disturbed costumed crime fighter (what you're putting on a costume to fight crime) to um Rorschach. The same can be said of possible homosexual Adrian Viedt and the rest. So off the bat, it's not because you simply shouldn't mess with a classic (even though it usually doesn't work); it's that I personally don't know if there is anything you could really add to the character arcs that would really clarify things or themes that could be expanded on that would provide new insight.

#2 Because prequels are so great?

In fairness, this was the same magazine that proclaimed that The Knack were the "New Beatles"/It's sad that only one of the three tragedies on this cover is still talked about today. (burn...me?)

I don't know if you guys remember Episodes I-III of a little indie franchise called Star Wars (Although Before Star Wars may be a better title). In the case of Star Wars while there may have been a genuine intent to add to the mythos of Star Wars - it kind of ended up a poorly thought out ancillary cash grab that did precious little (for me) than muddy my love of the franchise and waste 20-30 dollars over the span of a few years. Granted, X-Men First Class was awesome, but I'm not even sure that is a prequel to the earlier X-men movies (Although confusing and contradictory continuity in the films is kind of a wink to the comic book franchise). And the Watchmen prequel video game was a failure on literally every level (at least the demo I played). It was an uninspired beat em up that loosely followed a story line that was mentioned in the comics and not flushed out for the valid reason of irrelevance.

# 3 The creative teams will probably make me a liar and hypocrite though

Okay, so I'm probably going to at least flip through the Comedian and Minutemen books. What? Darwyn Cooke on Minutemen is a no brainer for doing the book itself. Azzarello and Jones on the Comedian... I love Jones but if you put Bermejo on it you can bank on people's fond memories of the Luthor and Joker books. At the same time though, I'm dubious of whether I'll actually purchase them or read them in the store (which as an employee for life of a local comic books store I am within my rights to do). So that's really it for that part of it; the creative teams are solid all around and under normal circumstances I would be inclined to read a book by them but unfortunately....

#4 It speaks to an unfortunate trend facing the modern funny book.

The kids don't like words in their comics that much. As is to say, I don't know why you need however many issues to tell the ancillary tales of characters that were well rounded with full well rendered arcs and rich backstories in 12 issues. Look, I do enjoy the decompressed wide screen comic book when done well. While I'm sure the talent assembled will put out top caliber work, it'll be divorced from the source material on the fundamental level that comic book writing has changed drastically since 1985-86. That's really it; the beast has changed in such a way that there has to be a fundamental story telling disconnect between the two. I feel that even though (sight totally unseen) these collected works will be so structurally different that even though they feature the same characters they may feel alien...or not.

As for AVX

The first issue was kind of meh because I had read at least half of it in the form of previews on the internet and other comic books. I mean I think like 4 pages of it were really new content to me. Also, a former comic shop employee pointed out that there was a conflict between #0 and #1 relating to the characters' reactions to the general destruction in NY. It also seemed that Ms. Marvel forgave Wanda really quickly (I will not speak to Children's Crusade...the internet has done that for me...I do enjoy that Jim Cheung though.)

As I've always been good at predicting the ends of summer events (I won a $50 bet on the end of Secret Invasion), I will now give a prediction based on a single issue and a tie in book.

1. Cyclops dies at some point

Like on Fringe! I hear. I liked the show, but my TV dance card is so full.

He's been kind of a dick of late. What? He has. Pretty much in these events someone has to die and logically speaking he's the most likely. Granted, I've been wrong before though. Part of me wanted to say Cable but he's died and gotten better during so many of these summer events. If it was Magneto, who would care really he's tied with Jean Grey on the dying and coming back thing (fact check?). Hope is on there but Phoenix and death and rebirth you know. While Wolverine would be...never happen ever. Oh, unless this new Capt. Marvel thing is an oakey doke and Carol Danvers eats it but why? So process of elimination leaves us with Cyclops.

2. The Phoenix brings with it Death Rebirth and... a soft reboot.

I'm hoping that there isn't a full on line wide New 52 reboot. Granted they did leave the Bat and GL books largely untouched which...just keep some consistency on some of the books I read and we'll see. I mean if anything the New 52 did get me to buy some new titles for 3-6 issues. So good job I guess. I don't know. It'll probably happen. If anything, your average comic book fan is your typical abused partner. We take our lumps. We vent about it (taking up lets say 5% of the internet), but we always come back. Although the numbers are nowhere near where they were 20 years ago, well, people have their limits on things - spider clone/ general shitiness/ 90's comics are great for beating up on- even if I did love many of them at the time and to a point. Anyway, it's probably going to happen, and I don't know if we'll have a Jean Grey School for Higher Learning or Jean Grey at a school for higher learning - although I'd doubt it.

#3 - Deus ex Grey

Commence Slashfic/ ready Boner Jams 12 countdown!

White hot rooms have to have doors right? And it wouldn't be totally surprising for someone to die at the end of an event and then get better (Prof. X - Messiah Complex). I mean he died (again) and came back 3 weeks later to little fanfare with walking legs and psychic powers in tow. Also, it seems to be a recurring trend of late to totally undo the changes made in an event after said event (Fear Itself .1 issues). So, pretty much the end game I predict is this: Cyclops dies stopping, something, that is keeping Hope and the Phoenix from merging. Hope does whatever, whispers "um, more mutants?" Phoenix obliges. Leaves/ is Jean Grey/ is all like, "sorry, bro." I would actually pay extra to see that be the exact dialogue.

# 4 - More Mutants

Because nobody demanded it! Actually, I've put Maggot through enough over the years. He could team up with Whiz Kid?

Why not? They're still pretty popular. And if anything there is a certain cyclical nature to the beast. It's also the only way to have one of these senses shattering everything changes events where, um, anything changes, aside from shit going all Days of Future Past. It makes sense on a storytelling level and just a logical level. Pretty much an Avengers win a battle/lose a war. Wolverine probably has a last second or mid event change of heart. Cyclops' heroic actions make Cap think twice about what have you. Everyone saves face/ characters are redeemed. Although, ideally the book ends with Storm, T'Challa, Luke Cage, Moses Magnum, and Misty Knight forming a secret black cabal called the Cluminati secretly ruling the Marvel U. And they call the period afterwards Darker reign or Candy Reign, I fucking love that song. Yes, that was my prediction for after Siege. Yes, I made that joke years ago on I want to say Myspace. Still waiting.

A day late, and probably short. comic reviews and predictions for 3/25/09

Wednesday is easily my favorite day of the week. Sundays are a lot better now because of the High Tops shows. And that one Friday a month for Bar Bacon is also a favorite. But Wednesdays always bring me the big satisfaction of new comics, to bitch about, and a new Lost, to bitch about...and make excited sound effects during. I sound like a fucking geisha when I watch that show. What with my high pitched squeals and shrieks. It must be frustrating.

New Avengers #51 - It's cute. It's real cute. From the Coma Girl to the Wiccan/Strange moments the book bubbles up with the cute. I actually mean that as a compliment. Long story short, good character moments and a smooth transtition from arc to arc is what's in the book. And it's a good thing. I still don't care for Billy Tan's pencils, but Immomen (SP?) is coming. Look you could have a ten year old with a learning disability, or me (I'd be worse...I draw for shit), on pencils and it would still be a top seller.

Mighty Avengers #23 - The last page reveal is almost worth the price of admission. That said, this is the most Avengers-y book you will read. It's got the old school villians, wierd line-up and Jarvis that the old school fans want. I was more of an X book kid, but who wasn't, so some of the charm is slightly lost on me. That said my more recent turns towards obsessive fanning have allowed me to gain more of an appreciation. I like Dan Slott, but I'm going to give it another arc before assing judgment on it's continued reading.

Avengers the Initiative: Reptil: Nothing that wrong with the book as far as art or writing, but I could care less. It's just that simple. I have literally nothing more to say. It's servicable, but may be solely for completists. That's really it.

ASM #589 - A pretty good one and done. And those don't really pop up that much in the era of writing for trades. The art is solid. The humor works as well as it ever does. And...yeah. Perfectly good one and done. Not going to change the world, but you could do a lot worse.

Iron Fist #24 - Another damn fine one and done. Granted, I always hate when they break up the arcs like this, but I get two Iron Fists in a month so it works. Sadly, the book is done after #27 so.... I will say, yet again, the guy who writes this book (I am not goint to try and spell that name) did a damn fine job doing what looked to be the impossible and keep the quality up. Good stuff. You will be missed.

Crossed #4 - A solid twist on the zombie concept. And also, a book that would probably gross out the vast majority of people. What with all of the ass rape and cannibalism. Yep. They're kind of zombies, but way more twisted. That's it. Ennis at his Ennisiest. Says it all. Good pacing and tension as well. Just throwing that in there. It's not all about people eating and forced soddomy here.

Squadron Supreme # 9 - Yup. This book has been on kind of a down turn since the start of the reboot. I get the whole "Let's throw in the Marvel analogues" thing, but the point of the book was moreso "DC analogues dealing with slightly more realistic geo-politics." Not straight up cape and tightery. That said, I prefer the original direction and tone. And, Gary Frank is a tough act to follow. Supreme is on borrowed time with the pull list.

FF # 565 - It took me literally three minutes to read this from cover to cover. It's not dreadful. And the Cthulu-esque thing looks neat, but it's kind of a forgettable little story thrown in as a palete cleanser between arcs. Quaint looking villagers with a horrifying secret plotline with jet packs and the Thing. As far as those stories go it's a decent one because of the team, but it isn't on the same level as the rest of the run.

Messiah War 1 shot - Thus continues my love/hate relationship with X-Force. I love that they bring back obscure characters that the casual fan has to ask me about at the store (because I'm petty). At the same time, a lot of those characters are forgotten for a very good reason. I love the overall mean spiritdness of the whole Marvel line post Ellis on Thunderbolts. But, I hate the fact that certain characters are only written that way in this book. I love the interactions with Vanisher, but I still think he looks silly. Anyway, um, right. They are certainly going places with this one. Actually this whole Messiah mishegasse (SP.)/ revisionist history thing started out as a cool idea. But...Stryfe. He's been dead since I was in middle school, and with good reason. People hated him then. Apocolypse? He fought Dracula for fucksake. He was originally going to be The Owl for fucksake. He's a really vaguely defined character who hails from the school of generic 80's design. He's got a giant A on his belt in case he looses it. And that's it, really. The problem that I have with this book is on a plotting level. And that my main concern is that I don't think that the creators behind it haven't been able to seperate nostalgia and quality creations from each other. If Whiz Kid shows up with his magic wheelchair to save the day I'm done.

Guardians of the Galaxy # 12 - Still a damn fine book. I didn't have a problem with the C story that other outlets did. It's a solid read.

Captain America #48 - It is the most consistently engaging book published since it's relaunch. It's got a great continuing narrative. IT consistently has great, fitting, art. And it's got characterization to spare. If you read cape and tight books you should read this one. And it's actually gotten better with Bucky at the helm.

Thunderbolts #130 - Deadpool is the new Wolverine. Plain and simple. I just had to throw that out there. Um, it's alright. I prefer Paco Medina's art in the Deadpool monthly, but the art here is fine. Thunderbolts B is still pretty good. No, it's not as good as the Ellis/Deadoto book, but it's still a fairly entertaining read every month. The bar was pretty high going in and I think they're doing a pretty good job keeping things up there as far as quality. It's middle of the road. Fun, and still getting pulled.

X-Infernus #4 - This could have been done in 2 issues or a 5 dollar one shot. That's the problem. There just wasn't enough story here to justify four issues. Pixie and Magick want their souls back. Witchfire wants them to bring back Elder Gods. Good triumphs, but Pixie looses another piece of her soul. Magick is back, but sans soul. There you go. (I don't consider it a spoiler because of the...she's on the New Mutants cover. They spoiled it three weeks before this.)

Life and Times of ucas Bishop - Revisionist history with questionable art and a four dollar price point. It's unnecessary, and frankly, if you wanted to get into the Bishop back story they should have done it seventeen years ago when people were really interested in the whole X-traitor thing. all this book has done is make many years of past stories either not make sense or incredibly creepy (he went on a date with his grandma dude.)

Where's the DC? I read JLA 30 in the store. It was pretty good. I could care less about the Battle for the Cowl one shots. I'm sure it's a lot of staring and wondering if Gotham can survive without Batman. Which is what all of the titles post RIP have been anyway. Also, DC doesn't put out a whole lot of books these days.

Predictions - It's between Doom, Hood and Wiccan for the Sorccerer Supreme. It's probably going to be Wiccan, though, eventually. The good guys have to win one. Pretty much, if it goes Doom or Hood there's too much of a disparity between sides and relative power.

So, is Ms. Marvel 1 dead? She seems to be on covers for New Avengers for the next little bit. Although, time tables never synch properly in comics.

That's about it.