What the shit: Thoughts on Lost "The Incident". Also, internet...that's not Anubis it's Sobek. Read a book.

So, yep, called the deaths. Going to pat myself on the back for that one. Locke doesn't count, he was already dead. And while Sayid may live...he's pretty close. So, yep. Also, Juliet I think had the worst, as in pain, death of anyone on the show: dragged down a hole, crushed by debris and blown up by a nuke. They just shot Friendly. Think about it. And now make with the massive spoils and the bitching.

Miles: Seems to be the only person on the island with some common fucking sense. Part of me thinks that he's right and that blowing the nuke core is going to cause the incident. Minly because ALL OF THIS ALREADY HAPPENED. Ellie already knew she was going to shoot her son in the present and Ricardus knew about Jack and the rest in the present.

Rose and Bernard: I was right about that one too. They were, as I said, "off somewhere doing something". Certainly not the most inelegant solution they could have come up with to explain where the characters were. I was just glad that they showed up, as anyone who reads my postings knows I hate the loose ends.

Jacob: Is kind of like a white Bagger Vance. He's winkingly prescient and says things that seem vague to the characters. At the same time having him show up as another immortal with nebulous powers that just shows up and buys NKOTB lunch boxes and chocolate is a tad weak in my mind. It was cute to see that he had always been affecting the characters lives. At the same time it seems like they tacked this on. And for an immortal he kind of went out like a bit of a bitch. For the record, that is not how you convince someone to, um, not stab you to death. But, that wasn't the most troubling thing by far...

The Bad Twin: The second they opened that box I knew that it was going to be Locke's dead body. Because, well, what the fuck wlse could it be? It's a bunch of Drive Shaft Cds? Me thinks not. So, yeah, there's an evil John Locke who is that guy from the first five minutes of the episode. Okay. Honestly, the thing kind of smacks of poor writing. Yes, I get that there have been broad strokes of duality metaphors throughout the show. From the pretty on the nose black and white references made in season one to the many role reversals on the show. I get that thematically you can pull this sort of thing. My problem is that it is a cheap trick. Yes, they prefaced the whole "it's impossible that Locke got resurrected" angle on the show. But...the show's already fantastical with its immortals, smoke monsters and reappearing dead cast members. And it's a cheap trick because it's some dude that has probably been mentioned on the show in passing who is now integral to the plot, but has just been introduced out of left field. And that's my problem. And yes it's because I didn't see it coming. Reason being, nobody could have seen it coming because it is so left field. It also states that the shows whole man of science v. man of faith debate is everybody wins. The peanut butter is in the chocolate, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria. Oh, and he too is also, probably the smoke monster. Think about it take a second. He set Locke up to die so he could assume his form as he can come back as the dead on the island. Smokey told Ben to listen to Locke. Locke was certainly not in the room with Ben. That nameless dude hated interlopers on the island. Smokey kills interlopers on the island. He's security for the island because he kills all of the people coming to taint it. Bong (imagine Jason Mewes saying it. The word bong not the rest of it.) Fun Side note: people on the interwebs have been callin him the dark man so, new guess, the smoke monster is none other then Randall Flagg...or Liam Neeson (go rent the movie).

The Incident: Miles is probably right. That's how time travel works. The 77 characters remember them happening. In 07 it had already happened. Farraday is probably playing the castaways from beyond the grave. Or he realized that the only way to course correct was to have this happen becuse it always happened that way. Think about it. Take a second.

Season Six Predictions: I can't predict with 100% certainty if I'm right about the plane crashing anyway. If it doesn't crash they'll still be on the island because as any sci-fi fan knows: when you change the past you actually create an alternate earth. Because what happened in your reality to get you back into time to change it had to have happened lest you create a reality crashing paradox. Also, the island exists outside of the Earth's space time (read my baby theory in an old post it explains it well, and I already wrote it). Um, what else, good John Locke will come back...somehow. Ben never saw Jacob because his resurrection in the temple was done with the evil juju. The band will get back together. And, they'll probably spend the rest of their days there. If the plane doesn't crash they'll have no world to go back to as there will be, um, themselves living their lives in their stead. If the plane doesn't crash my big prediction for the end of the show is thus: adult Aaron and Ji Yeon and a crew of explorers, scientists and the like show back up to the isalnd and the game begins again. This time the Dark Man is Ben and Jacob has been replaced by John Locke (cue sound effect and fade to black). I may be the only person I know that still watches the show...probably not.

Season Five reflections: Much like Final Crisis I feel that they were doing something incredibly interesting and thought provoking, for the respective mediums of big 2 in continuity super hero books and network television, and then totally dropped the ball at the end. Mainly because in both cases they brought gigantic plot elements, that fit thematically but are not explicitly mentioned or aluded to, in at the end in a manner that is totally unsatisfying. I mean both the comic and the season had last second all encompassing evil characters. And my reaction to both has been a slight cringe. I've gone back and reread Final Crisis and enjoyed most of it. And I'm sure when I get my Season Five Blu-ray I'll enjoy ninety percent of it too, but damn. That's all really.

I can easily say I didn't see that one coming: Lost "Follow the Leader".

Well, firstly, now my girlfriend is running into Terry O'Quinn at Wegman's. He answers her questions. It's understandable though. And she really does love "The Stepfather", almost too much, so there you go. Apparently he was buying mouthwash and spinach. God that sounded like some stalker shit with the mouthwash and spinach. Anyway, onto the show.

Um, well, Farraday's dead. Jack is talking like Locke about destiny. Dr. Chang knows his time travelling son. Sawyer is probably going to find a way out of the sub to kill Phil for hitting Juliet...trust me...when Sawyer says he's going to kill someone...they usually get killed. Kate actually didn't fuck things up entirely. Sayid was in the jungle doing Sayid stuff. And John Locke talks to the island and is going to kill Jacob. Which. I. Kind of have a problem with that. I mean the moment on the show was awesome, but....

You see, the real problem with the character of Jacob is that they've been building him up since late season three. And the fact that he may in fact be a corporeal human being just seems like a let down to me. Although I guess that's the problem with the show...all the fantastical conjecture. (cue the sound effect.)

As for the episode it was pretty darn awesome. I'm curious about Locke's endgame with the killing Jacob angle. Part of me wonders if that what Jacob meant all of those years ago when he asked Locke to help him. I also wonder if there are going to be more attempts on John Locke's life? Probably. Are they going to blow up the bomb and prevent the plane from crashing? I'm going to want to say no. If Elloise is willing to make sure her own son dies, and Dharmaville is still standing in the 2000s I'm going to want to say that Elloise learns some sort of horrible lesson about tampering with time. It makes sense. As for everyone getting back to their proper time? Probably. Rose and Bernard are on Vulcan or something. I know I keep bringing them up when they aren't on the show, but I hate loose ends. As for who dies, at this point you've got me. Pragmatism would lead you to think of Juliet. Sayid is my number two choice. My number three pick is big Ben Linus. Four is Jack. Five John Locke. And then everyone else is catch as catch can. That's really it. This post is brough to you by my new neighbors and they're total lack of internet security. Peace.

Quickest movie review ever: Star Trek

It's fucking awesome. That's really about it. Seriously, people were clapping, fanboys were jacking each other off and for a moment everything seemed right with the world. I don't want to spoil anything and can literally find fault with nothing. Go, enjoy yourself and be prepared to see "J.J Abrams is my master now" T-shirts. The bar is set for the summer, and it's rather high. I had to miss Lost to go to the screening, but it'll be up later tonight or early tomorrow. Peace.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine...is a movie.

It's like this. The plot is a tad muddled. The comic book backstory of Wolverine is more than a bit muddled. And frankly, quite ridiculous. Be glad the movie has no Elsyee Dee, or Shiva, or any character related to Wolverine/ Weapon X protocol from the early '90's (Pre Weapon Plus...if you really care enough pick up the Grant Morisson run or google it). So, yeah to that end it works...I mean at it's core most of the Wolverine origin is really fucking silly in the comics. There's robots, clones, a 10 year old James Howlett in a night dress, contradictions galore, retreads and maddening retcons. So, given that I was willing to cut them some slack on the plot.

Commence the mild spoil/fanboy bitching

Zero's a goddamn teleporting android. Just had to say that that guy should have just been Garisson Kane before getting robot arms, just saying. Okay, As a whole the movies alright. I went in with very very low expectations, (as my one friend hated the shit out of it) and I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't total ass. Also, I...well...yeah...I engaged in my pre movie ritual to a great extent. It makes every movie better. With a movie like this you really have to do that to enjoy it. So, yeah, the ways they try to fit this movie into the rest of the X-men franchise is just silly. And they don't address how Sabretooth is a giant borderline retarded fellow in the first movie. Which is odd. I mean that's the troubling one really. So, that's a little inelegant. What else. Half of the visual effects work and half of them really, really don't: Cyclops eye beams yes, Emma Frost diamonding up no, John Wraith teleort yes, Wade Wilson's repeated butterfly move not so much. Which is another thing: I just don't agree with some of the choices that they made visually. Pretty much half of the effects work in the movie and half don't. It's like the trailers for the movie half of it looks awesome and half of it looks silly, and that's the movie.

Aside from that it could use some more Deadpool and some more Gambit and some more time spent with Team X (even if they're never referred to as that). And it could also use some Fantomex...I'm a big fan of Fantomex who is not in the movie. And Hugh Jackman brings the same Wolverine that you've probably enjoyed in the other X-men movies. Pretty much, there are a lot of quips, some ridiculous plot points (I feel that the ridiculous plot points speak to the nature of the character's comic origins, as mentioned), some action scenes that work, and some that really don't.

Look, it's the fucking Wolverine movie it's a summer popcorn flick it's not supposed to be Bergman. It's silly and bombastic and loud. Some people like that, I like that, if you like that you'll like the movie. It's not the Dark Knight, but it's not supposed to be. So my final review is s'okay. Watch a trailer and gauge your opinion based on that. Because it's one of those cases where the movie is pretty accurately represented by the trailers.

Lost, Makes with the awesome: "The Variable" heavy spoils abound

Lost, Makes with the awesome: "The Variable" heavy spoils abound

This would have been up sooner but I've been moving for the past week or so. Anyway, damn fine episode this past week, damn fine. I'm actually going to go ahead and say it was the best of the season so far. But that's usually the case with Lost, as in the last five six episodes of the season are typically much faster paced and make with some payoff. All that said I'm curious to see where things go from here. And, while I'll miss Farraday quite a bit I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he probably had the coolest death of any character on the show, even Alan Seward...(FINISH IT). But, yeah kind of a mindfuck with Farraday, his mom, his half sister Penny and his dad Charles Widmore. That one got shouted out quite heavily by the internet. And I also love that Farraday used the exact same argument that I did on Dr. Chang being Miles' father. And also that little Charlotte said that whole chocolate thing to Farraday, even if it kind of fucks the time table. (I'm supposed to believe she's like 3-5 years older than Ethan?) I will say, though, that while I'm excited for this season's endgame I am a tad leary of what that would mean for season six.

As in, if the plane never lands on the island what then? We've already done a return to the island plotline this season. We've already seen them interact off island for the past two seasons in the flash fowards/ Oceanic six plotine. But my real question is: why would any of them want to prevent the plane from landing? I mean the ones that aren't dead, obviously. Kate would be in lady's prison, Jack would be living a purposeless solitary life, Sawyer would be a douche/ con man, Boone would still be alive to suck at everything and not bang his stepsister, Nikki and Paolo would be back on the show. It just doesn't work for me. Even if everyone still has questions about Libby it just doesn't work for the plane to not crash. That's my opinion, but I could be proven wrong. It's happened...a lot. And now, the rest of the season 5 predictions

Who's going to die: Well, I checked IMDB to se who had the most in development projects going on. And after doing that it does kind of look like Juliet is the most likely to die due to the V remake probably getting picked up. Aside from that my other two guesses are Sayid and Jack. Sayid because he shot a freaking kid. And Jack because that would certainly stir things up. And he's kind of run his race if you follow. Although, on the other hand Jack may somehow redeem himself and be returned to the leader position when they return to their time. Or maybe Ben.

How they get out of it '77: Miles is oing to tell his father the truth. It's a no-brainer really. You get closure on the Miles angle and it moves the plot ahead and facilitates some events. Makes too much sense to not happen.

How they get out of it '07: A bunch of faceless new school Dharma people, and what's her name the bounty hunter, are probably going to eat it at the hands of the "hostiles" yet again. Locke is going to either use the wheel or some such time dongle. Ben may have to sacrifice himself to do it. That might be an interesting one that nobody would see coming. It's a thought.

Where's Sayid: I have no idea. He might be with the hostiles. But he's probably on the beach. He's somewhere doing Sayid stuff.

What's Next '77: Someone's going to fuck up and the Swan is going to get built anyway. Some of them are going to make it off on the sub...I don't know things are getting hard to predict with this whole time trael business. Plot elements are malleable due to time muddling being the theme of the season. So we'll see. I'll probably be able to get a fairly accurate prediction after this week's episode. Peace.