Party like it's 2005...kinda - AVX Retrospective.

As the leaves change, so to does the landscape of comic bookery.  It is inevitable.  Every year, every thing changes.  It is the mutability of the beast.  Before us, it transmutes into a chimera.  This sloughing beast has many names: New 52, Dark Reign, and now...um Marvel Now.  But6 how did we get here?  What was the impetus for this monumental return to a prior status quo?  Punching space gods in both the face and genitals; that's how.  But how does all of this interstellar nard punching make us feel?  Well, to answer that you can start your own blog I guess, and I'll read it fair, illusory reader.  Now though we will deal with how I feel.

It was okay I guess

I mean it didn't leave the typical flavor of carrion, from pummeled equine, that a lot of events give me.  Part of this was just due to the fact that it didn't really up my pull, as I was reading most of the books anyway.  The other part was that there was less truly ancillary filler. Granted, there was a lot of expounding on the meteoric crackle of fists between say The Thing and Namor, but there was less of say, Jackpot, fighting a Skrull that was a hodgepodge of B-list Spider Villains.  So, yes, that's a plus I guess.  Pretty much, these comic super events are typically a bloated mass of vestigial tales, bloat, and laconic droning.  This event at least stayed on topic for the most part with the tie-ins.  Sure, some of it was kind of filler, but it was competent filler usually, and it all dealt with the main conflict, more or less.  As for the plot, they probably could have tightened the thing up a scooch, as the most interesting concept, beloved X-men making the slow burn from magnanimous cyphers of an ill defined space god to fascistic, man thonged, tyrants was left on the side for more punching.  THe reason for this is that well after the X-Men made that full, inevitable, heel turn you knew where this was going.

 

  Sisqo saw all of this coming

 As for the events within, there have been some decent moments and interactions sure.  I do look forward to some of the new books coming out of this, but yeah pretty much this:  Charles Xavier died way more convincingly, given ephemerally, in Messiah Complex; the Phoenix lost way more meaningfully in um The Dark Phoenix Saga; The Thing punched Namor way harder in the 60's when men were men, and women knew their place.  I mean, yes, characters come from literally out of left field in the last issue, and I mean I almost called the resolution to it Spoiler it's just that they didn't say "Fine, More Mutants" but "More Mutants" and "No More Phoenix" as it's good to be the Deus Ex Machina.

We all would have preferred it ending with "Fine, More Maggot"...No?

You Should buy AVX Versus #6

It's got Squirrel Girl and Pixie, and Domino beats up Rulk.



So...

In summation, AVX was who we thought it was.  It was Avengers and X-men punching each other and eventually coming together to fight a common enemy, some of the X-men.  Wakanda got leveled; Hope knows Kung-Fu; Spider-Man can take a punch to the face; fine, More Mutants; Cyclops' arc has made him both more interesting over the years/ kind of a dick;  I guess as the heavy handed allegories for civil rights go, that makes Wolverine MLK Jr?   I don't even know any more.  So, in closing, it was better than last year's events, as Fear Itself was instantly retconned after publication/ inconsistent and Flahpoint, seriously what the fuck just happened?  Wait?  What?  Sot that's what you missed in AVX.   

No, Seriously, what the fuck?  I still don't, what?

Summer Loathing - Sitting out a Summer Event

This summer is looking up for the nerds as we've got Avengers and Dark Knight Rises, so there are at least two summer blockbusters that won't disappoint (because dammit Nolan could probably make Bat-Mite work honestly even if Bat-Mite was all CG and voiced by Eddie Murphy. Actually, I take that back; that would be fucking amazing...you know. Also, the new GI Joe can't be worse than the first one...right?). So as we've got the tent pole movies of every summer, we've also got 2 summer comic book events of every summer (down from 3 as the X-men and Marvel U general summer events are the same one for once) with AVX...obviously, and we've got the non company wide Before Watchmen. I'm thinking of sitting one out. As a borderline Marvel zombie, I will be following AVX as I really like the new energy that Aaron and Gillen have brought to the books. I read most of the Avengers proper because well they're generally engaging and like most comic book fans (I'm assuming from years as a fan and former comic shop employee that well people go apeshit for tie in books.) I'm a habitual completest. So pretty much, I'm not picking up anything I don't read for the tie ins, and I don't have to deal with the self contained tie in series that vacillate wildly in quality and relevance. So obviously, I'm going to be sitting out Before Watchmen (for the most part) and here's why.

#1 It's not a sacred cow thing.

Shouldn't Pig Pen be Rorschach?

Look, everyone loves Watchmen. I'm also going to put out there that the Watchmen movie was the best adaptation of a movie that never should have been made under any circumstances. What, it was engaging and the performances were pretty spot on. Sure, the ending of the movie was not the best, but I don't want to sit through another hour of movie because you have to add in the Black Freighter to add in the author of it and the island making that Cthulu thing (blah blah Architects of Fear- we all know; we're all clever; it's referenced in the book itself). So tangents aside, (what...dammit Bry) it's pretty much this - I revere the original work as everyone does; it truly is a nearly flawless work of sequential artistry. It deserves the accolades it has gotten. Yet as a nearly flawless, work there is one implicit caveat that must be accepted: it tells a complete story. Even if not labored about, we can see both explicitly and tacitly the character arcs that moved Rorschach from slightly disturbed costumed crime fighter (what you're putting on a costume to fight crime) to um Rorschach. The same can be said of possible homosexual Adrian Viedt and the rest. So off the bat, it's not because you simply shouldn't mess with a classic (even though it usually doesn't work); it's that I personally don't know if there is anything you could really add to the character arcs that would really clarify things or themes that could be expanded on that would provide new insight.

#2 Because prequels are so great?

In fairness, this was the same magazine that proclaimed that The Knack were the "New Beatles"/It's sad that only one of the three tragedies on this cover is still talked about today. (burn...me?)

I don't know if you guys remember Episodes I-III of a little indie franchise called Star Wars (Although Before Star Wars may be a better title). In the case of Star Wars while there may have been a genuine intent to add to the mythos of Star Wars - it kind of ended up a poorly thought out ancillary cash grab that did precious little (for me) than muddy my love of the franchise and waste 20-30 dollars over the span of a few years. Granted, X-Men First Class was awesome, but I'm not even sure that is a prequel to the earlier X-men movies (Although confusing and contradictory continuity in the films is kind of a wink to the comic book franchise). And the Watchmen prequel video game was a failure on literally every level (at least the demo I played). It was an uninspired beat em up that loosely followed a story line that was mentioned in the comics and not flushed out for the valid reason of irrelevance.

# 3 The creative teams will probably make me a liar and hypocrite though

Okay, so I'm probably going to at least flip through the Comedian and Minutemen books. What? Darwyn Cooke on Minutemen is a no brainer for doing the book itself. Azzarello and Jones on the Comedian... I love Jones but if you put Bermejo on it you can bank on people's fond memories of the Luthor and Joker books. At the same time though, I'm dubious of whether I'll actually purchase them or read them in the store (which as an employee for life of a local comic books store I am within my rights to do). So that's really it for that part of it; the creative teams are solid all around and under normal circumstances I would be inclined to read a book by them but unfortunately....

#4 It speaks to an unfortunate trend facing the modern funny book.

The kids don't like words in their comics that much. As is to say, I don't know why you need however many issues to tell the ancillary tales of characters that were well rounded with full well rendered arcs and rich backstories in 12 issues. Look, I do enjoy the decompressed wide screen comic book when done well. While I'm sure the talent assembled will put out top caliber work, it'll be divorced from the source material on the fundamental level that comic book writing has changed drastically since 1985-86. That's really it; the beast has changed in such a way that there has to be a fundamental story telling disconnect between the two. I feel that even though (sight totally unseen) these collected works will be so structurally different that even though they feature the same characters they may feel alien...or not.

As for AVX

The first issue was kind of meh because I had read at least half of it in the form of previews on the internet and other comic books. I mean I think like 4 pages of it were really new content to me. Also, a former comic shop employee pointed out that there was a conflict between #0 and #1 relating to the characters' reactions to the general destruction in NY. It also seemed that Ms. Marvel forgave Wanda really quickly (I will not speak to Children's Crusade...the internet has done that for me...I do enjoy that Jim Cheung though.)

As I've always been good at predicting the ends of summer events (I won a $50 bet on the end of Secret Invasion), I will now give a prediction based on a single issue and a tie in book.

1. Cyclops dies at some point

Like on Fringe! I hear. I liked the show, but my TV dance card is so full.

He's been kind of a dick of late. What? He has. Pretty much in these events someone has to die and logically speaking he's the most likely. Granted, I've been wrong before though. Part of me wanted to say Cable but he's died and gotten better during so many of these summer events. If it was Magneto, who would care really he's tied with Jean Grey on the dying and coming back thing (fact check?). Hope is on there but Phoenix and death and rebirth you know. While Wolverine would be...never happen ever. Oh, unless this new Capt. Marvel thing is an oakey doke and Carol Danvers eats it but why? So process of elimination leaves us with Cyclops.

2. The Phoenix brings with it Death Rebirth and... a soft reboot.

I'm hoping that there isn't a full on line wide New 52 reboot. Granted they did leave the Bat and GL books largely untouched which...just keep some consistency on some of the books I read and we'll see. I mean if anything the New 52 did get me to buy some new titles for 3-6 issues. So good job I guess. I don't know. It'll probably happen. If anything, your average comic book fan is your typical abused partner. We take our lumps. We vent about it (taking up lets say 5% of the internet), but we always come back. Although the numbers are nowhere near where they were 20 years ago, well, people have their limits on things - spider clone/ general shitiness/ 90's comics are great for beating up on- even if I did love many of them at the time and to a point. Anyway, it's probably going to happen, and I don't know if we'll have a Jean Grey School for Higher Learning or Jean Grey at a school for higher learning - although I'd doubt it.

#3 - Deus ex Grey

Commence Slashfic/ ready Boner Jams 12 countdown!

White hot rooms have to have doors right? And it wouldn't be totally surprising for someone to die at the end of an event and then get better (Prof. X - Messiah Complex). I mean he died (again) and came back 3 weeks later to little fanfare with walking legs and psychic powers in tow. Also, it seems to be a recurring trend of late to totally undo the changes made in an event after said event (Fear Itself .1 issues). So, pretty much the end game I predict is this: Cyclops dies stopping, something, that is keeping Hope and the Phoenix from merging. Hope does whatever, whispers "um, more mutants?" Phoenix obliges. Leaves/ is Jean Grey/ is all like, "sorry, bro." I would actually pay extra to see that be the exact dialogue.

# 4 - More Mutants

Because nobody demanded it! Actually, I've put Maggot through enough over the years. He could team up with Whiz Kid?

Why not? They're still pretty popular. And if anything there is a certain cyclical nature to the beast. It's also the only way to have one of these senses shattering everything changes events where, um, anything changes, aside from shit going all Days of Future Past. It makes sense on a storytelling level and just a logical level. Pretty much an Avengers win a battle/lose a war. Wolverine probably has a last second or mid event change of heart. Cyclops' heroic actions make Cap think twice about what have you. Everyone saves face/ characters are redeemed. Although, ideally the book ends with Storm, T'Challa, Luke Cage, Moses Magnum, and Misty Knight forming a secret black cabal called the Cluminati secretly ruling the Marvel U. And they call the period afterwards Darker reign or Candy Reign, I fucking love that song. Yes, that was my prediction for after Siege. Yes, I made that joke years ago on I want to say Myspace. Still waiting.

Time killing: comic reviews for 3/18/09. With my frequently accurate predictions.

I know nobody reads this, but I find it enjoyable. Frankly, I don't blame you. Much like the cigarette the comic book in and of itself is an addiction of sorts. Not, the casual reading of a trade papaerback, or giving a comic book a chance. No, I speak of something far more sinister: the almost slavish and compulsie act of new comic book day. That's all I got.

Dark Avengers#3 - It's refreshing to know that there is someone out there that shares my almost fanatical love of "Five Guys Burgers and Fries". That said, I have never gotten an onion ring or shake there. May be regional. I just don't know. Anyway, the book itself is a fun quick read. Good interactions between Osbourn and Sentry, and Sentry's wife, and her fear coma. I don't know, it's fun. A lot more fun the former Mighty Avengers, but not as enjoyable mean spirited as Ellis' Thunderbolts. Solid title. Oh, and the $4 comics may bring upon the comics crash of 2011-2012. (Call it a hunch.)

Ultimatum #3 - It's an improvment, I guess. The pace is moving briskly. I'll give it that. Jeph Loeb books always have pretty neat fight scenes? My main problem with the whole Ultimatum thing is that 1) Wildstorm did the exact same, totally destroy our universe beyond reasonable expectations, thing, more or less, a year ago. If anything, it got me to drop the Wildstorm books I was reading. And the Image "what-have-you-verse" may have just done the same thing. Maybe. I read Invincible in trade so...I flipped through and things seem to have gotten a bit out of hand.2) All the rampant killing may be short sighted, but it's comis. Granted Ultimate Longshot may have run out of juice, or could have been the biggest thing since chromium. We'll never know, but we've eaten plenty of more ridiculous retcons so it's not a big deal. 3) On the whole sale slaughter of characters: it gets old faster than anyone ever thinks. After issue 1 I was surprised by the amount of carnage. By 2 I was at least surprised by the cannibalism. Now, it's pretty much whatever. I do like the whole "nobody's safe" element though. Although, all but 1-2, have been pretty safe choices. (As the vast majority has really been house cleaning.) Eh, it's the best issue yet? Maybe? You shouldn't be able to read a $4 book this quickly, but the art's pretty sort of debate.

Deadpool: Games of Death - It's things like this that made the character less visible in previous years. I think that's the most diplomatic way of putting it. Van Damme and Walker Texas Ranger jokes...says it all...and there's actually a rapper named 8ball...been around for years...like 15-20...had some hits...you know 8ball and MJG? No? You think someone would check that out. Moving on.

Wolverine #71 - Thoroughly enjoyable. It's Millar and McNiven. It's entertaining as ever, and the delays are far more reasonable then Ultimates. I would consider that to be a positive. And it sells well too. Except that one with the moloids. Moloids have a very low Q rating. Scary thing is that it probably reads even better in a trade. Eh, I'm helping the economy.

Uncany X-Men #507 - Also, thoroughly enjoyable. I know the internet is rather torn on the book, but I think it's tits. Solid pace and quality artwork. And it's got a good sense of humor. And with probably one of the least shocking shocking reveals of all time. But at least it's organic with the book. As opposed to...

X-Force #13 - Man, that last page. I keep giving you chances and you keep burning me. Now, I'm not talking about who takes said, semi-permanent, vacation in hell (comics). Wait. I am. Firstly, the character that leads to it all is acting more than slightly out of character. Second, we did this whole long beloved fixture in the storied X-Books (I'm half sarcastic here...) makes subsequent dick moves that they think is justified for the greater good, but makes them a pariah thing like once or twice a year. Oh, and it always comes back to bite them in the ass independently of the whole alienation thing. Aside from that the dialogue is fairly snappy, the art has the Megadeath concept album about the X-Men sensibility that the consumer has fallen in love with. It's not the crafting of issues on a quality of art/dialogue/action basis that I have issue with, but the overall plot points really. And some of the characterization. Oh, and why do they keep killing off characters after someone comes in and makes them viable again...or for the first time...depending on our opinion of the character in question.

X-Men Legacy #222 - For the serious fanboys really. As one, I enjoy it. It sells reasonably well given the inaccesability to the casual comic fan. That's about it. Solid 7-8 range on a monthly basis.

X-Factor #41 - The book is back to the caliber it was before whichever crossover messed up it's flow. Honestly I have a hard time remembering. I think it was Messiah CompleX. I think that's right. Anyway, it has been on poin for the past few issues. So, go with your money.

Punisher #3 - Dark Reign gave the character some new juice. As much as I enjoy Fraction: War Journal had lost some of it's steam towards the end. Entertaining read. Granted, the overarching interconnectedness of comics in general makes me wonder if anything will stick to the greater Reign business, but...I've got to ween myself off of all of this obsessive fanboy shit...look it's a fun read...I really say that a lot, but it's super hero comics. If you're not enjoying it, then, you shouldn't be reading it. If only I could take my own advice...

Ultimate X-Men #100 - Big week for the letter X. The book has been a lot more readable since Aaron Coleite took over, but there was never a chance that it would get back to the original runs on the book. Part of that is that the property just started getting a bit silly a few years ago. And, much like the 616 books it got bogged down by ancillary characters. The issue as it stands is an enjoyable one, comparatively, if you can look past an entertaining, and frankly rick-diculous, retcon that pushes much of it. Ultimate Lorelei may have the shortest career of any character in comics...ever.

Amazing Spider-Man #588- Jury's out. On the merits of the issue iteslf: JRJR is consistent as...you get JRJR on a book and you know how it will look. The guy is as consistent as your Mark Balgey and almost as prolific in regard to output. The writing is...Spider-Man is an irritating character 50% of te time. Nature of the beast. You get a character that's supposed to be funny, and well like anything comedy you gel with it or you don't. I didn't. No Stacey/Osborn babies, though, or face eating. That's a plus.

Predictions for the rest of the year: Hank McCoy ends up running the X-ship once the current regieme is found to be unfit. As in, you can't have the two characters in the book teetering around shoe dropping territory on a monthly basis without...shoes dropping. X-Force is slowly being revealed, and we've got a Dark Reign crossover coming later in the year so. Logic dictates that something will give eventually.

That whole, Osborn kills someone publicly thing: Ms. Marvel I. Or one of the Avengerbolts does the deed, publicly.

Messaih War will...Stryfe...really? Look you bring back the Magus and I'm fine. You bring back Douglock...again...probably in New Mutants. Ink shows up as Vibe '08. Whatever Cuz. But Stryfe? He's the representation of everything that went wrong in the '90's. I mean he's a clone for god's sake. Clones are what got us all in this mess in the first place. Cable sells pretty well so I don't expect him to die. Unless Hope gets sent farther into the future and coes back as some bad ass lady Cable type. Actually, that's not a terrible idea. I don't know, as long as they don't kill Warpath. They'll probably kill Warpath. Or maybe Elixir. Not Vanisher though. Kind of curious to see how they tie in Deadpool.

Blackest Night will probably not suck. Sinestro's Daughter is secretly Kyle Rayner's girlfriend...I forget her name. Triumphant moment ends up with Sinestro and Jordan back to back against ring zombies. Superboy Prime kills Connor, again, for all the right reasons this time. This whole redeem Prime thing is hopefully just a red herring. Henshaw finally dies...to come back as a black lantern...maybe. And it's really Earh-2 Batman all along. Oh, and Bart is probably back. And Jade. And I'd wager there will be a fair amount of Black Adam. He kills a lot of people.

Ultimate Spidey lives. I mean there's the whole nobody is safe thing, and then there's a terrible idea. If you ask me that's a terrible idea.

The Sentry will remain in a fight from the begining of it until the end of it. Maybe.

Oh, and Dick Grayson is Batman. Has been since Secret Six #2. Or maybe they made Tim Drake taller somehow. Barbra Gordon, fairly obviously, walks again this year. (Always wonder how they justify paralysis in a world with interstellar travel. Granted, it was a way to revolutionize the character in means of visibility and Killing Joke does deserve the hype it's always gotten. But, they've got living robots and spaceships and you've got someone in a wheelchair from a gunshot, and nobody should worry this much about these things. But thousands do. Oh well.) And Damian is Robin 4. And Tim Drake is Red Robin...probably.

And that's about it.