Here we are again: Thoughts on Lost "Dead is Dead"

So, here we are again. All in all I would say that the episode was a success...except for one little thing. That little thing was, yes, the special effect with Ben and the whole "Lion King" flashback inside the smoke. It was, dare I say it, a Heroes level special effect, but it served it's purpose and I can look past it. And a lot of other business went down. Firstly Ceasar bit it. I guess he wasn't working for Widmore, but what's her name obviously is, the had a freaking code...la le lu li lo. And I think we're about to, at some point, see one of them finally get shot by Juliet...eventually. And the smoke monster showed up as Alex this time. Who is a dead person on the island. And it was trying to protect the island and...Christian Shepard is the smoke monster I can't harp on this enough. And, hey, Ben did the right thing for once by not offing Penny, and getting his ass beat by Desmond. Who I guess isn't going back to the island. Can't win them all. We got to see Ben steal Alex. Which was actually kind of easy really. And we got to see that Charles Widmore looked like with hair. And that he very well may be the bad guy. Although the fact that it took them so long to realize this seems a little suspect. What also seems suspect: Ben's total lack of knowledge that James Le Fluer was Sawyer. It's probably some sltered reality time travel shit that they do in comics, but...I don't want to explain this as it is both time consuming and any conclusion I come to will be unsatisfying. And I'm also more curious to see how the writers explain it...it will be more elegant then the explination I would give...hopefully. So what have we learned this week? Precious little really. Ben didn't kill Penny, which was a fifty fifty proposition anyway. It did show that Ben has a soft spot for the kinder, which would be obvious given his own less then pleasant childhood. Ben feels guilty over Alex's death...which he sould. That maybe he didn't plan for Locke's ressurection. But he kind of said he did in 316 so... He's a hard character to read what with the lying and the quality of acting. Oh, slight side note: the hair only adds so much to making Ben look younger. And Ethan looked kind of rough for being 27. He was born in 77 and died in 2004. It's small, but I'm just saying. As for next week. Looks to be a lot of Miles working with Marvin Candle (I forget his actual name and...you know who I'm talking aobut) Could we finally see that Miles is Marvin Candle's son? I'm going to say yes. And, maybe, just maybe, we'll see Farraday again...someday. He may be one of the dead people Miles talks with. I just don't know. And the future: Well, apparently the theme for this season finale is the fork in the outlet as last year was the frozen donkey wheel. So, I guess the time travel is going to come from the 70's and someone is probably going to short out the time travel pod in the Orchid. (You know people were freaked out by the polar bear at one point. How quaint.) Although Locke may set some wheels in motion in the present as well. I assume that he's going to have to do something with that wheel. Or at this point I don't even know really. It just poils down to that. They could discover just about anything on the island that would meet the purpose of time travel thus and such. So, yep that's about it. Good episode all told. They seem to be hitting the late season stride that happens just about every year. On a Matthew Fox side note: I saw Speed Racer the other day on Cinemax. I, honestly, don't understand why it was universally panned for one major reason: It's a movie based on the Speed Racer TV show. Have you ever watched a full episode of Speed Racer? It isn't exactly King Lear. It's actually kind of silly and nonsensical. And the movie was intentionally silly in the same vein so I thought it worked. That's about it really. And granted, they could have gone after the traditional Speed Racer viewers of old, but unless the movie came with free weed I think a lot of the older fans of the original show would wonder why they watched it in the first place. That is all.

Fanboy loathing: The ten (maybe) most irksome things (and comic store horror stories)

#1) Look junkies: nobody wants to buy your fucking comic books. It's really that simple. If I have to look at one more piss scented copy of Midnight Sons #1 I'm going to choke somebody. Seriously, people, unless it's from 1975 or earlier or it's a big deal issue i.e. somebody dies, first appearance, is a 1:100 variant nobody is going to want it. Or go sell it on ebay. Put the buy it now price as heroin. (The store is in Baltimore and...it's Baltimore...Heron capitol of the east coast.) Also, to that same end...

#2) Just because you are calling a comic book store I, personally, do not know how much your comic book is worth. If I had a dollar for every person who called in to ask how much X book (sometimes it is an X-book) or books is worth , well, I'd probably be able to go to Morton's or buy a DSi. Go buy a copy of Overstreet. Or pay us money for appraisal. As in I will read Overstreet for you and you will pay me for the service. As well as give an accurate appraisal of the book's condition.

#3) Should have been number one to me...STOP PUTTING BARACK OBAMA ON COVERS. Mainly Wizard. Yes, people will buy anything with Obama on it. Yes, Obama is featured on two pages (he likes Spider-Man and owns a Wii). But goddamn is that a shallow ploy to increase sales on, frankly, a dying publication that is slowly being needled into obselessence. The man's the first black president...not chromium. Stop using the man like chromium. Look, if it's a comic, and it's not a blatant sales ploy (Like that Savage Dragon endorsement issue that eventually turned into a speculation juggernaut) that's fine. If the story isn't hastily thrown together shit that's fine too. If it's a calcualted sales ploy or hastily thrown together shit, well, stop. But you won't. And I'm hard pressed to think of a comic that would really benefit from an Obama crossover. Unless Obama, Rocket Racer and Night Thrasher are doling out skateboard justice. That's a freebie.

#4) How come the shit books are the ones that always come out on time, more or less? Ultimates 2: a full year in between issues. Supergirl: oh, it'll be there like fucking clockwork. Old Man Logan: slight delays. Young X-Men: I swear Mussilini was editing it because it always ran on time. Food for thought. Although plenty of shitty books take their sweet time with it too, and yes, it's all objective. And yes, one man's shitty is another man's less shitty.

#5) Do I need this many spin offs? Yes, some of them are actually pretty decent. And yes, I should have some restraint, but damn there are a lot of spin off minis these days. Remember the 90's.

#6) Stop putting Halo: Uprising #4 in the solicits. I have been doing the numbers for this issue sporadically for about a year now. It just shows up every week for a month or two and then goes back into the ether with the rest of the JMS run on Squadron Supreme (why must I suffer like this? I meant the JMS never coming out. I could really care less about the Halo) I will say though on it's behalf that they did the best they could with the "rich and original" Halo mythos. What? The games were about as generic sci-fi as they get. The fact that the book is even engaging is a triumph. Although, I think they may have missed their window...the game came out almost two years ago.

#7) Way to ruin zombies. It was cool at first. Zombie Hulk eats somebody turns back into Zombie Banner and a guy bursts out because of the size differential. Walking Dead is a solid read. Crossed is a novel approach, and they're not really zombies. But goddamn the glut of zombie books over the last couple of years is just ridiculous. Really the point I'm making is that I don't want zombies to meet the same fate as ninjas, or Chuck Norris. Just because the horse doesn't stay dead dosn't mean you should keep beating it.

#8) Stop making me describe things in Previews to you over the phone. No more need be written.

#9) You shouldn't drastically alter the status quo more then once every two years. Marvel is doing it right. Initiative ran its course and Dark Reign is going fine so far. It's actually kind of more entertaining across the board. Granted, more engaging books were created in it's wake: Dark Avengers > New Warriors. And seeing as most newly minted titles have a 5-10 month (not issue) window before the casual fan drops it (I see it happen literally every wednesday): it's a good idea to go for a bi-annual shake up seeing as the survivors may need to draw fickle fans back in.

#10) Yeah, um, how do I put this delicately...can I get some more words in my books? If I'm paying three to four bucks it should take me more then three to four minutes to read it. Sometimes a quick read is satisfying. If the book has great art or no word is wasted. Sometimes it works with the pacing. Most times it feels like you're actually reading a sixth of a story (because you are). That's all I'm saying. It's definitely not across the board, but damn. You know who you are. Peace.

Portraits in Douchebaggery: Reflections on Lost's "Whatever Happened, Happened"

Well, now we know what Jack came back to do. And that was not save kid Ben. Simply enough, that's really it. And it's pretty funny too to see that the two characters who were in the top three castaways for getting fucked over by Ben Linus were two of the three people that made him into the utterly entertaining douche bag that he is. Those two people being Sayid and Jack. Had Sayid never shot him he never would have needed to be saved. Had Jack saved him he would never have needed whatever psuedo mystical life saving soul sucking technique that the others use to stave off mortality. It's kind of funny really.

Also, I do have to admit that I am in fact loving Jack's fall from the messianic alpha male douche to the pill popping desperate douche that he has become this season.

Aside from that not a whole hell of a lot happened this week for my dollar. Hurley and Miles addressed the time continuity issues that we've all been asking since they went down this road to amusing results.

Kate showed just how bad she is at keeping secrets. And mothering. I mean it's kind of a mind fuck for a three year old for their mother to take off in the middle of the night and then some, I'm sure nice, Australian lady wakes up up telling you that she's your grandmother and that your mom will be back soon. It just seems that the right thing to do would be to simply tell Aaron what is going on...I mean he's going to know something's up.

Sayid is...somewhere. Doing something. He seems to be up shit creek really. Hope he doesn't get killed, but at this point....It's hard to shoot a child and be a sympathetic character on a TV show.

Charles and Ellie running the show for the others...Makes sense. I still wonder why Richard is always the number 2, but I'd like to think that the question will finally be answered next week, or not. Whatever.

Best moment on the show: definitely when Locke said welcome back to the land of the living at the end of the episode. Part of me wants to say that Ben was nt necessarily 100% certain that Locke would come back...given his facial expression. But given the 316 episode it did kind of seem like that Ben was well aware of the coming ressurection.

So, I think that really covers the main thrust of the episode. As for next week, Ben is going to be judged by...Christian Shepard (The Smoke Monster)...or maybe Jacob will actually show up but...at this point I think they may have built up the mysteriousness of Jacob a bit too much. I mean, if he's just some guy it's going to be a bit of a let down. Even if he's Alovar Hanso or one of the many mentioned, but never seen members of the Lost mythos it's going to be a letdown after all of this time. Even if it's a time displaced John Locke. Which is actually kind of likely. Granted I'm basing this only on my theory that A) It'd be pretty cool B) Who the fuck else could it be at this point? C) I got nothing else. There you go. Jacob is John Locke. Why not. I'm not putting a lot of faith in this, but you heard it here first...possibly.

Yep, that's about it really. Excited for next week's episode with the John Locke and the Ben Linus and Juliet shooting someone else on the other boat...maybe...probably. It'll be fun. Peace.

A day late, and probably short. comic reviews and predictions for 3/25/09

Wednesday is easily my favorite day of the week. Sundays are a lot better now because of the High Tops shows. And that one Friday a month for Bar Bacon is also a favorite. But Wednesdays always bring me the big satisfaction of new comics, to bitch about, and a new Lost, to bitch about...and make excited sound effects during. I sound like a fucking geisha when I watch that show. What with my high pitched squeals and shrieks. It must be frustrating.

New Avengers #51 - It's cute. It's real cute. From the Coma Girl to the Wiccan/Strange moments the book bubbles up with the cute. I actually mean that as a compliment. Long story short, good character moments and a smooth transtition from arc to arc is what's in the book. And it's a good thing. I still don't care for Billy Tan's pencils, but Immomen (SP?) is coming. Look you could have a ten year old with a learning disability, or me (I'd be worse...I draw for shit), on pencils and it would still be a top seller.

Mighty Avengers #23 - The last page reveal is almost worth the price of admission. That said, this is the most Avengers-y book you will read. It's got the old school villians, wierd line-up and Jarvis that the old school fans want. I was more of an X book kid, but who wasn't, so some of the charm is slightly lost on me. That said my more recent turns towards obsessive fanning have allowed me to gain more of an appreciation. I like Dan Slott, but I'm going to give it another arc before assing judgment on it's continued reading.

Avengers the Initiative: Reptil: Nothing that wrong with the book as far as art or writing, but I could care less. It's just that simple. I have literally nothing more to say. It's servicable, but may be solely for completists. That's really it.

ASM #589 - A pretty good one and done. And those don't really pop up that much in the era of writing for trades. The art is solid. The humor works as well as it ever does. And...yeah. Perfectly good one and done. Not going to change the world, but you could do a lot worse.

Iron Fist #24 - Another damn fine one and done. Granted, I always hate when they break up the arcs like this, but I get two Iron Fists in a month so it works. Sadly, the book is done after #27 so.... I will say, yet again, the guy who writes this book (I am not goint to try and spell that name) did a damn fine job doing what looked to be the impossible and keep the quality up. Good stuff. You will be missed.

Crossed #4 - A solid twist on the zombie concept. And also, a book that would probably gross out the vast majority of people. What with all of the ass rape and cannibalism. Yep. They're kind of zombies, but way more twisted. That's it. Ennis at his Ennisiest. Says it all. Good pacing and tension as well. Just throwing that in there. It's not all about people eating and forced soddomy here.

Squadron Supreme # 9 - Yup. This book has been on kind of a down turn since the start of the reboot. I get the whole "Let's throw in the Marvel analogues" thing, but the point of the book was moreso "DC analogues dealing with slightly more realistic geo-politics." Not straight up cape and tightery. That said, I prefer the original direction and tone. And, Gary Frank is a tough act to follow. Supreme is on borrowed time with the pull list.

FF # 565 - It took me literally three minutes to read this from cover to cover. It's not dreadful. And the Cthulu-esque thing looks neat, but it's kind of a forgettable little story thrown in as a palete cleanser between arcs. Quaint looking villagers with a horrifying secret plotline with jet packs and the Thing. As far as those stories go it's a decent one because of the team, but it isn't on the same level as the rest of the run.

Messiah War 1 shot - Thus continues my love/hate relationship with X-Force. I love that they bring back obscure characters that the casual fan has to ask me about at the store (because I'm petty). At the same time, a lot of those characters are forgotten for a very good reason. I love the overall mean spiritdness of the whole Marvel line post Ellis on Thunderbolts. But, I hate the fact that certain characters are only written that way in this book. I love the interactions with Vanisher, but I still think he looks silly. Anyway, um, right. They are certainly going places with this one. Actually this whole Messiah mishegasse (SP.)/ revisionist history thing started out as a cool idea. But...Stryfe. He's been dead since I was in middle school, and with good reason. People hated him then. Apocolypse? He fought Dracula for fucksake. He was originally going to be The Owl for fucksake. He's a really vaguely defined character who hails from the school of generic 80's design. He's got a giant A on his belt in case he looses it. And that's it, really. The problem that I have with this book is on a plotting level. And that my main concern is that I don't think that the creators behind it haven't been able to seperate nostalgia and quality creations from each other. If Whiz Kid shows up with his magic wheelchair to save the day I'm done.

Guardians of the Galaxy # 12 - Still a damn fine book. I didn't have a problem with the C story that other outlets did. It's a solid read.

Captain America #48 - It is the most consistently engaging book published since it's relaunch. It's got a great continuing narrative. IT consistently has great, fitting, art. And it's got characterization to spare. If you read cape and tight books you should read this one. And it's actually gotten better with Bucky at the helm.

Thunderbolts #130 - Deadpool is the new Wolverine. Plain and simple. I just had to throw that out there. Um, it's alright. I prefer Paco Medina's art in the Deadpool monthly, but the art here is fine. Thunderbolts B is still pretty good. No, it's not as good as the Ellis/Deadoto book, but it's still a fairly entertaining read every month. The bar was pretty high going in and I think they're doing a pretty good job keeping things up there as far as quality. It's middle of the road. Fun, and still getting pulled.

X-Infernus #4 - This could have been done in 2 issues or a 5 dollar one shot. That's the problem. There just wasn't enough story here to justify four issues. Pixie and Magick want their souls back. Witchfire wants them to bring back Elder Gods. Good triumphs, but Pixie looses another piece of her soul. Magick is back, but sans soul. There you go. (I don't consider it a spoiler because of the...she's on the New Mutants cover. They spoiled it three weeks before this.)

Life and Times of ucas Bishop - Revisionist history with questionable art and a four dollar price point. It's unnecessary, and frankly, if you wanted to get into the Bishop back story they should have done it seventeen years ago when people were really interested in the whole X-traitor thing. all this book has done is make many years of past stories either not make sense or incredibly creepy (he went on a date with his grandma dude.)

Where's the DC? I read JLA 30 in the store. It was pretty good. I could care less about the Battle for the Cowl one shots. I'm sure it's a lot of staring and wondering if Gotham can survive without Batman. Which is what all of the titles post RIP have been anyway. Also, DC doesn't put out a whole lot of books these days.

Predictions - It's between Doom, Hood and Wiccan for the Sorccerer Supreme. It's probably going to be Wiccan, though, eventually. The good guys have to win one. Pretty much, if it goes Doom or Hood there's too much of a disparity between sides and relative power.

So, is Ms. Marvel 1 dead? She seems to be on covers for New Avengers for the next little bit. Although, time tables never synch properly in comics.

That's about it.

Make with the ridiculous: Lost 3/25/09 "He's Our You"

Right. That was an episode. I don't know, they went with the way more logical Sayid tries to kill kid Ben because of his poor treatment of Sayid in the future/past which leads to Ben... This has been a pretty good season for writing sentences like that. But, yup, aside from that I'm starting to wonder about the continued focus on the stuck in Dharma '78 plot line. It's an interesting idea. It's been working better then the time hops, but...where's it going? And, of course, now I'm wondering about what is going on in the present. But that happens every season. You know, so you'll keep watching on the weekly basis. And now: the episode itself.

Firstly, I would much rather be tortured by the Dharma Initiative then Sayid. I mean they just feed you LSD (or Sodium Pentathol...maybe) and ask you questions. While Sayid burns people with hot fat and cuts their fingers off. I'm just saying that if you build a guy up as a torturer and then he just doses you down and makes you listen to jazz...sounds like the best roommate you could get in college.

Shooting Kid Ben was the more logical outcome as I said last week. Part of me would like to see the other option, but it doesn't make any sense. Sort of like Sayid's total refusal of Sawyer's deal. He must really hate Ben. Probably because Ben, you know, put the hit out on Nadie last season. And the guy murdered Locke this season. Although, that did work in getting everyone back.

Kate - Is a dirty bitch. That's about it really. She had her chance with Sawyer, left the island, comes back to break up his shit. As time has progressed I find myself less and less enamored with Kate...obviously.

Radzinsky - Also a dirty bitch. I mean you wait three years to finally see the character and...he's kind of annyoing. I guess that explains why he spent so much time with his door map...you remember the all important door map? Yeah, everyone was all about the door map three seasons ago.

I don't know not a lot happened this episode outside of the Sayid back story, which was entertaining, and him sitting, being difficult, shooting a twelve year old. Hurley made a few jokes. Juliet looked pensivly at things. Jack...twiddled his thumbs. Jin got knocked the fuck out. And we see that Sawyer is willing to play every side to try and keep everyone alive.

And now the predictions and an actual spoiler for once.

Predictions - Pretty much the same. Castaways are going to be totally responsible for the purge. Christian Shepard IS THE SMOKE MONSTER. I'm pretty dead set on that one. Sayid, I guess, is going to end up with the hostiles, or die, in the next episode or two. Actually, he's probably going to die. I mean, he shot a kid...Ben. It kind of seems like Sayid's rocking the death wish. We'll see. I'm not going to go with either outcome with terribly strong convictions. That's about it. Caesar is on Widmore's payroll. The nameless castaways and Rose and Bernard are, probably all dead. Although it would be funny if Rose and Bernard were hostiles. Locke has got to find Alpert to find a way to ring them back...hopefully it does not involve the wheel, but it involves the wheel. Oh, and Juliet's probably going to die. Elizabet Mitchell is in the pilot for V. Which will probably get picked up. Hopefully the alien baby will be more convincing this time around.

And, the incomprable John on Buddy TV, has also done more excellent heavy lifting. Firstly, Sayid's last kill was at Oldham pharmaceuticals. I didn't realize this at first because I don't speak Russian. Simply enough. Also, there is the Ilana, Widmore, MacCuchent connection. And, yes she too is probably a plant like Caesar.

And now the actual spoiler. Stop reading if you don't want to have a psuedo spoil.






So, I read on, I forget the guy's name, it's close to Anselmo I think. Anyway, they're apparently shooting a wedding at the moment with a large number of Asian extras. There are two ways this could go. The silly, out-Losting Lost, aanswer is of course Aaron and Ji-Yeon's wedding. If this is to be believed then the show would take a time jump to the 2020's. If that is the case...I think I would actually be done with the show. That's almost too silly. No, it's too silly. So, it's probably Jin and Sun's wedding. Which means that everyone will, unsurprisingly, be reunited in the season finale. Or at least Jin and Sun. I mean, he's almost died in two different season finales...it's fitting that things turn around.

The smoke monster revealed . And thoughts on Namaste.

Okay, let's start with the smoke. Here's the theory: Christian Shepard is the smoke monster. Not the man mind you, but the on island manifestations. Here's why I think that. 1) The smoke monster's main goal is to defend the island. All Christian Shepard, on island...obviously, does is give people advice on defending the island. 2) Taking on the form of the deceased and engaging in conversation is within the smoke monster's power set. Because, as we all remember, when it took out Eko it shapeshifted into Yemi and talked to Eko before taking him on a permanent vacation in hell. Thusly, the smoke monster would be capabale of manifesting in human form and carrying on some level of cognitive discussion. Am I saying that the smoke monster is Jacob? No. It's more of a Silver Surfer/ Galactus thing where Smokey is the herald of Jacob. The problem: Ben had the smoke monster locked up in his basement. The saving grace though is that you never saw him put the Smoke Monster back into his cage, and Christian started manifesting after his release. What I'm saying is that Ben had no idea that the monster is a herald of Jacob. As in originally they had to go to speak directly to Jacob. So there you go. Christian = Smokey...definitely. Enjoy reading this in two weeks on thetailsection.com or darkufo. It's going to happen. Always does.

Now, onto Namaste.

So, as a situation setting episode I thought it was alright. Cool note from BuddyTV was that they landed on the runway that Kate and Sawyer were building in Season 3. So, it shows that Ben knew that their plane was going to land there as A he was on it and B Sayid probably told him. Speaking to the BenSayid dynamic I also think it's pretty cool that Sayid's enmity and attempts at the life of young Ben are probably what turns him into the lovable dick that he is. As in Sayid's poor treatment of Ben in the past leads to Ben's poor treatment of Sayid in the present. Or Sayid teaches Ben how to be a badass. Which would make sense, and be awesome.

The Picture - I did have a problem with that. Mainly because Sawyer/Locke/Hurley etc... were living in the barracks in season 4. The picture of them in '78 was in...the Barracks. Yes, it's cool when Christian pulls down the picture, but logically speaking, well. ,


The Purge - It's caused by the castaways. Has to be. But, the question now is time. More to the point: as we saw in the flash back/forward the Orchid had not been built yet. I'm imagining that the creation of the Orchid is the event that starts this whole thing purge thing off. Simply enough, Farraday et al. know that the only way they will get back to their appropriate time is through that station...or the wheel. I'm fairly certain that the only way for the castaways to get back will be to sacrifice the Dharma Initiative. And they'd be up shit creek without James LeFleur. Let's be honest now.

The Orchid - Makes me wonder about the time frame we'll be spending in the super bad 70's. i'd imagine that it's going to take some time to build a space time pod. And, as we know, Farraday is there for the discovery of the tachyons or whatever they find down there. Also, the time disparity does help my Miles is Marvin Candle's son theory because we have no idea how much time has or will pass between 78 and then. Probably not a whole lot though.

Desmond - Hopefully he'll show up soon, brother. Hopefully he's not a widower. I mean, yes, Ben is pretty bad ass. But Desmond's got training. Army training (do your best Bill Murray). And he's kind of bigger then Ben
. What probably happens is that he comes to kill her, but Desmond has one of his time hop memory things go on, and knows that he's coming. So now he must go to the island to assure that he gets the message. To himself. Or something.

Lapidus - I miss the beard. Glad he's back on the show though.

The boat issue - I'm curious to see if the boat that Sawyer/Miles/Juliet found was Sun and Frank's or a boat captained by John Locke and Ben Linus. As is to say, they killed one of the Ajirans during the time hop. The Ajirans were probably chasing Ben and Locke though. I can't see Sun and Lapidus raising anoyone's hackles to the point of attempted murder. Ben and Locke? Yes.
Enigmatic types usually inspire blind rage in people.

Ceasar & Federal Agent what'shername- Ceasar is obioulsy a Widmore plant. He knew to go to the Leviathin. He's on that plane. If he isn't then why is he getting so much face time? The Fed...probably not, but I wouldn't rule it out entirely. Would explain why they're extraditing Sayid. I mean the guy killed enough people in America to be tried there. All I'm saying is that his being on the plane was suspect.

Where's Farraday? - With Alpert. Probably talking about time flow/travel/ancient Egyptian culture. Because as I've said. Giant Horus statue+guy who doesn't age+eyeliner = eternal ancient Egyptian/Highlander. The island was probably some floating island (more Chrono Trigger than Battle Angel) that floated above Tunisia (remember the comic book that Alpert showed child Locke in Season 4...with the floating island) . Actually, it's probably Lemuria (high tech nemeses of the Atlanteans...if I remember correctly) or something to that effect. It would explain why they keep popping up in Tunisia. Damn that got off topic, but hey it's another interesting theory. (read it here 2 weeks earlier.) So, yes, Farraday probably went hostile after seeing kid Charlotte (the timetable is proper fucked on that one). Or he's on another island. Or just living in caves and writing bat symbols on the wall.

Radzinsky - Good to finally see him. He does seem like the kind of guy who would live in the Swan indefinitely. I guess, chronologically, the Swan came first. I don't know. Need more info on the timetable. Seems that the Orchid gets the time hops done and the Swan handles the excess energy that was tapped by revealing the time wheel.

Christian - Kind of wished it was Claire that showed up, but that would lead to the characters asking too many logical questions.

Rose and Bernard - Those were the skeletons in the caves. Not Jack and Kate. Or they're chilling in other-town. I don't know. They're probably dead in that cave. Rose will be missed, but she's been under used since Season 2 anyway. Better to burn out then fade away. Seeing as I've given them more thought then the characters on the show seemingly have.


Jack and Kate - Better not break up the Juliet and Sawyer pairing. They seem like a better match to be honest. Also, neither one of them is capable of actively loving another person. It's really that the two are handily my least favorite characters on the show. Especially Jack. No, especially Kate. It's that type of thing.

Aaron - Who cares? He's in Korea...I don't fucking know. How interessting is a toddler in the grand scheme of things?

Baby Ethan - Sucks to be that baby. Still, very cute moment. Personally, I'm more curious about when a young Friendly shows up. He best to. Although, Ethan looked pretty rough for 26. (He was born in '78 Seasons 1-4 all take place in '04 mainly...go math!)

The big problem - Ben knowing all of this beforehand. You'd think that he'd, at some point, slip up and call Sawyer LeFleur...or the whole thing with Juliet. I mean, yes, I am enjoying it more since the time hops stopped. Yes, I still get excited when they have the self referential moments. Yes, I'm all about the reveals. But, the plot holes still bother me. Still a Lost zealot, but they keep pushing with the ridiculous this season. Can't we just blow up Dr.Arzt again? Can it be that it was all so simple then? It kind of was. And then they gave us exactly what we, the obsessive bloggers, wanted.

That's really it. One note though, when they got to the docks I wanted Sun to say, "Oh, these are the docks where I murdered Carol (or whatever her name was)." Well they were. Peace.

Time killing: comic reviews for 3/18/09. With my frequently accurate predictions.

I know nobody reads this, but I find it enjoyable. Frankly, I don't blame you. Much like the cigarette the comic book in and of itself is an addiction of sorts. Not, the casual reading of a trade papaerback, or giving a comic book a chance. No, I speak of something far more sinister: the almost slavish and compulsie act of new comic book day. That's all I got.

Dark Avengers#3 - It's refreshing to know that there is someone out there that shares my almost fanatical love of "Five Guys Burgers and Fries". That said, I have never gotten an onion ring or shake there. May be regional. I just don't know. Anyway, the book itself is a fun quick read. Good interactions between Osbourn and Sentry, and Sentry's wife, and her fear coma. I don't know, it's fun. A lot more fun the former Mighty Avengers, but not as enjoyable mean spirited as Ellis' Thunderbolts. Solid title. Oh, and the $4 comics may bring upon the comics crash of 2011-2012. (Call it a hunch.)

Ultimatum #3 - It's an improvment, I guess. The pace is moving briskly. I'll give it that. Jeph Loeb books always have pretty neat fight scenes? My main problem with the whole Ultimatum thing is that 1) Wildstorm did the exact same, totally destroy our universe beyond reasonable expectations, thing, more or less, a year ago. If anything, it got me to drop the Wildstorm books I was reading. And the Image "what-have-you-verse" may have just done the same thing. Maybe. I read Invincible in trade so...I flipped through and things seem to have gotten a bit out of hand.2) All the rampant killing may be short sighted, but it's comis. Granted Ultimate Longshot may have run out of juice, or could have been the biggest thing since chromium. We'll never know, but we've eaten plenty of more ridiculous retcons so it's not a big deal. 3) On the whole sale slaughter of characters: it gets old faster than anyone ever thinks. After issue 1 I was surprised by the amount of carnage. By 2 I was at least surprised by the cannibalism. Now, it's pretty much whatever. I do like the whole "nobody's safe" element though. Although, all but 1-2, have been pretty safe choices. (As the vast majority has really been house cleaning.) Eh, it's the best issue yet? Maybe? You shouldn't be able to read a $4 book this quickly, but the art's pretty sort of debate.

Deadpool: Games of Death - It's things like this that made the character less visible in previous years. I think that's the most diplomatic way of putting it. Van Damme and Walker Texas Ranger jokes...says it all...and there's actually a rapper named 8ball...been around for years...like 15-20...had some hits...you know 8ball and MJG? No? You think someone would check that out. Moving on.

Wolverine #71 - Thoroughly enjoyable. It's Millar and McNiven. It's entertaining as ever, and the delays are far more reasonable then Ultimates. I would consider that to be a positive. And it sells well too. Except that one with the moloids. Moloids have a very low Q rating. Scary thing is that it probably reads even better in a trade. Eh, I'm helping the economy.

Uncany X-Men #507 - Also, thoroughly enjoyable. I know the internet is rather torn on the book, but I think it's tits. Solid pace and quality artwork. And it's got a good sense of humor. And with probably one of the least shocking shocking reveals of all time. But at least it's organic with the book. As opposed to...

X-Force #13 - Man, that last page. I keep giving you chances and you keep burning me. Now, I'm not talking about who takes said, semi-permanent, vacation in hell (comics). Wait. I am. Firstly, the character that leads to it all is acting more than slightly out of character. Second, we did this whole long beloved fixture in the storied X-Books (I'm half sarcastic here...) makes subsequent dick moves that they think is justified for the greater good, but makes them a pariah thing like once or twice a year. Oh, and it always comes back to bite them in the ass independently of the whole alienation thing. Aside from that the dialogue is fairly snappy, the art has the Megadeath concept album about the X-Men sensibility that the consumer has fallen in love with. It's not the crafting of issues on a quality of art/dialogue/action basis that I have issue with, but the overall plot points really. And some of the characterization. Oh, and why do they keep killing off characters after someone comes in and makes them viable again...or for the first time...depending on our opinion of the character in question.

X-Men Legacy #222 - For the serious fanboys really. As one, I enjoy it. It sells reasonably well given the inaccesability to the casual comic fan. That's about it. Solid 7-8 range on a monthly basis.

X-Factor #41 - The book is back to the caliber it was before whichever crossover messed up it's flow. Honestly I have a hard time remembering. I think it was Messiah CompleX. I think that's right. Anyway, it has been on poin for the past few issues. So, go with your money.

Punisher #3 - Dark Reign gave the character some new juice. As much as I enjoy Fraction: War Journal had lost some of it's steam towards the end. Entertaining read. Granted, the overarching interconnectedness of comics in general makes me wonder if anything will stick to the greater Reign business, but...I've got to ween myself off of all of this obsessive fanboy shit...look it's a fun read...I really say that a lot, but it's super hero comics. If you're not enjoying it, then, you shouldn't be reading it. If only I could take my own advice...

Ultimate X-Men #100 - Big week for the letter X. The book has been a lot more readable since Aaron Coleite took over, but there was never a chance that it would get back to the original runs on the book. Part of that is that the property just started getting a bit silly a few years ago. And, much like the 616 books it got bogged down by ancillary characters. The issue as it stands is an enjoyable one, comparatively, if you can look past an entertaining, and frankly rick-diculous, retcon that pushes much of it. Ultimate Lorelei may have the shortest career of any character in comics...ever.

Amazing Spider-Man #588- Jury's out. On the merits of the issue iteslf: JRJR is consistent as...you get JRJR on a book and you know how it will look. The guy is as consistent as your Mark Balgey and almost as prolific in regard to output. The writing is...Spider-Man is an irritating character 50% of te time. Nature of the beast. You get a character that's supposed to be funny, and well like anything comedy you gel with it or you don't. I didn't. No Stacey/Osborn babies, though, or face eating. That's a plus.

Predictions for the rest of the year: Hank McCoy ends up running the X-ship once the current regieme is found to be unfit. As in, you can't have the two characters in the book teetering around shoe dropping territory on a monthly basis without...shoes dropping. X-Force is slowly being revealed, and we've got a Dark Reign crossover coming later in the year so. Logic dictates that something will give eventually.

That whole, Osborn kills someone publicly thing: Ms. Marvel I. Or one of the Avengerbolts does the deed, publicly.

Messaih War will...Stryfe...really? Look you bring back the Magus and I'm fine. You bring back Douglock...again...probably in New Mutants. Ink shows up as Vibe '08. Whatever Cuz. But Stryfe? He's the representation of everything that went wrong in the '90's. I mean he's a clone for god's sake. Clones are what got us all in this mess in the first place. Cable sells pretty well so I don't expect him to die. Unless Hope gets sent farther into the future and coes back as some bad ass lady Cable type. Actually, that's not a terrible idea. I don't know, as long as they don't kill Warpath. They'll probably kill Warpath. Or maybe Elixir. Not Vanisher though. Kind of curious to see how they tie in Deadpool.

Blackest Night will probably not suck. Sinestro's Daughter is secretly Kyle Rayner's girlfriend...I forget her name. Triumphant moment ends up with Sinestro and Jordan back to back against ring zombies. Superboy Prime kills Connor, again, for all the right reasons this time. This whole redeem Prime thing is hopefully just a red herring. Henshaw finally dies...to come back as a black lantern...maybe. And it's really Earh-2 Batman all along. Oh, and Bart is probably back. And Jade. And I'd wager there will be a fair amount of Black Adam. He kills a lot of people.

Ultimate Spidey lives. I mean there's the whole nobody is safe thing, and then there's a terrible idea. If you ask me that's a terrible idea.

The Sentry will remain in a fight from the begining of it until the end of it. Maybe.

Oh, and Dick Grayson is Batman. Has been since Secret Six #2. Or maybe they made Tim Drake taller somehow. Barbra Gordon, fairly obviously, walks again this year. (Always wonder how they justify paralysis in a world with interstellar travel. Granted, it was a way to revolutionize the character in means of visibility and Killing Joke does deserve the hype it's always gotten. But, they've got living robots and spaceships and you've got someone in a wheelchair from a gunshot, and nobody should worry this much about these things. But thousands do. Oh well.) And Damian is Robin 4. And Tim Drake is Red Robin...probably.

And that's about it.