And we're back... I guess. Short ass Movie Reviews.

After an interminable hiatus fueled by apathy, malaise, booze, outdoor activities, templar conspiracy, duck sauce, etc. I have returned to mildly amuse the majority Russian, odd, readership of this blog.  As such, on to the briefest movie reviews imaginable, but not really, of films in current release and those relegated to bargain theaters, due to my reticence to post. 

The Expendables 2
  It's a bunch of old dudes walking with guns.  I mean it's what you expect it is to the tee.  Whether it is winking satire of action genre tropes or not is entirely subjective.  But yes, every traditional action movie note is hit.  Not to give too much away, but the cues for plot development are all there.  When a character says he's two days from retirement, well you know what's coming next etc.  With that said though, the affability of the characters is there based on them playing to these archetypes, but they are archetypes that the actors themselves originated in some cases.  With that said though, the movie felt a touch rote at times.  However, that is not to dismiss the performance of one cast member in particular: Jean Claude "Mother Fucking Van Damage" Van Damme.  In my opinion, he steals the thing in every way imaginable.  But, I'm wildly biased as a fan of Van Damme.  Wildly I say. 

Dredd 3D
  First, I would like to thank the marketing genius behind the synergistic cross promotion of Dredd 3D and Les Miserables.  I know, personally, that before I watch an hour and change of 3D rendered testosterone I want to hear about how singing live on set freed up Wolverine to really get into the character of Jean Valjean.  Also, when we're recasting the X-Men franchise can we get a Wolverine that does slightly less musical theater?  While I like Hugh Jackman as an actor, sometimes dammit I don't want to think that "I'm the best there is at what I do...which is high kicks and harmonizing." 

Anyway, go see Dredd 3D.  It's pretty much The Raid: Redemption with Judge Dredd.  Which if you haven't seen The Raid, um you should, is a compliment.  But yeah, it's true to the characters, visually interesting, other movie poster platitudes, violent as hell, enjoyable popcorn cinema.  Dude keeps his helmet on as well.  Also, there is no Rob Schneider as comic relief.  It is not a patently ridiculous affair.  It's just a Judge Dredd movie.  That's a good thing.  Also, Karl Urban brings the detached, robotic, wry fury.  Olivia Thrilby works as Judge Anderson and could get it.  So, that's good.  All in all worth your movie dollar.  The 3D was totally worth the extra 4 dollars for all of the flying blood, sparkles.